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Go call a coach, and let a coach be call'd And let the man who calleth be the caller; And in his calling let him nothing call, But Coach! Coach! Coach! O for a coach, ye gods! Chrononhotonthologos.
It was early on a fine summer's day, near the end of the eighteenth century,
when a young man, of genteel appearance journeying towards the north-east of
Scotland, provided himself with a ticket in one of those public carriages which
travel between Edinburgh and the Queensferry, at which place, as the name
implies, and is is well known to all my northern readers, there is a
passage-boat for crossing the Frith of Forth. The coach was calculated to carry
six regular passengers, besides such interlopers as the coachman could pick up
by the way, and intrude upon those who were legally in possession. The tickets,
which conferred right to a seat in this vehicle of little ease, were dispensed
by a sharp-looking old dame, with a pair of spectacles on a very thin nose, who
inhabited a "laigh shop", anglice, a cellar, opening to the High Street by a
strait and steep stair, at the bottom of which she sold tape, thread, needles,
skeins of worsted, coarse linen cloth, and such feminine gear, to those who had
the courage and skill to descend to the profundity The written hand-bill which, pasted on a projecting board, announced that the
Queensferry Diligence, or Hawes Fly, departed precisely at twelve o'clock on
Tuesday the fifteenth July, l7-, in order to secure for travellers the
opportunity of passing the Frith with the flood-tide, lied on the present
occasion like a bulletin; for although that hour was pealed from Saint Giles's
steeple, and repeated by The Tron, no coach appeared upon the appointed stand.
It is true, only two tickets had been taken out, and possibly the lady of the
subterranean mansion might have an understanding with her Automedon, that, in
such cases, a little space was to be allowed for the chance of filling up the
vacant spaces - or the said Automedon might have been attending a funeral, and
be delayed by the necessity of stripping his vehicle of its lugubrious trappings
- or he might have stayed to take a half-mutchkin extraordinary with his crony
the hostler -or- in short, he did not make his appearance.
The young gentleman, who began to grow somewhat impatient, was now joined by
a companion in this petty misery of human life - the person who had taken out
the other pace. He who is bent upon a journey is usually easily to be
distinguished from his fellow-citizens. The boots, the greatcoat, the umbrella,
the little bundle in his hand, the hat pulled over his resolved brows, the
determined importance of his pace, his brief answers to the salutations of
lounging acquaintances, are all marks by which the experienced traveller in
mail-coach or diligence can distinguish, at a distance, the companion of his
future journey, as he pushes onward to the place of rendezvous. It is then He was a good looking man of the age of sixty, perhaps older, but his hale
complexion and firm step announced that years had not impaired his strength or
health. His countenance was of the true Scottish cast, strongly marked, and
rather harsh in features, with a shrewd and penetrating eye, and a countenance
in which habitual gravity was enlivened by a cast of ironical humour. His dress
was uniform, and of a colour becoming his age and gravity; a wig, well dressed
and powdered, surmounted by a slouched hat, had something of a professional air.
He might be a clergyman, yet his appearance was more that of a man of the world
than usually belongs to the Kirk of Scotland, and his first ejaculation put
the matter beyond question.
He arrived with a hurried pace, and, casting an alarmed glance towards the
dial-plate of the church, then looking at the place where the coach should have
been, exclaimed, "Deil's in it - I am too late after all!"
The young man relieved his anxiety, by telling him the coach had not yet
appeared. The old gentleman, apparently conscious of his own want of
punctuality, did not at first feel courageous enough to censure that of the
coachman. He took a parcel, containing apparently a large folio, from a little
boy who followed him, and, patting him on the head, bid him go back and tell Mr.
B-, that if he had known he was to have had so much time, he would have put
another At length, after one or two impatient glances at the progress of the
minute-hand of the clock, having compared it with his own watch, a huge and
antique gold repeater, and having twitched about his features to give due
emphasis to one or two peevish pshaws, he hailed the old lady of the cavern.
"Good woman, - what the d--l is her name? - Mrs. Macleuchar!"
Mrs. Macleuchar, aware that she had a defensive part to sustain in the
encounter which was to follow, was in no hurry to hasten the discussion by
returning a ready answer.
"Mrs. Macleuchar - Good woman (with an elevated voice) - then apart, "Old
doited hag, she's as deaf as a post - I say, Mrs. Macleuchar!"
"I am just serving a customer. - Indeed, hinny, it will no be a boodle cheaper
than I tell ye".
"Woman," reiterated the traveller, "do you think we can stand here all day
till you have cheated that poor servant wench out of her half-year's fee and
bountith?"
"Cheated!" retorted Mrs. Macleuchar, eager to take up the quarrel upon a
defensible ground; "I scorn your words, sir; you are an uncivil person, and I
desire you will not stand there to slander me at my ain stairhead."
""The woman, " said the senior, looking with an arch glance at his destined
travelling companion, "does not understand the words of action. - Woman," again
turning "What's your wull? answered Mrs. Macleuchar, relapsing into deafness.
"We have taken places, ma'am," said the younger stranger, in your diligence
for Queensferry." - "Which should have been half-way on the road before now,"
continued the elder and more impatient traveller, rising in wrath as he spoke;
"and now in all likelihood we shall miss the tide, and I have business of
importance on the other side - and your cursed coach-"
"The coach? - gude guide us, gentlemen is it no on the stand yet?" answered
the old lady, her shrill tone of expostulation sinking into a kind of
apologetic whine. "Is it the coach yea hae been waiting for?"
"What else could have kept us broiling in the sun by the side of the gutter
here, you faithless woman? Eh?" Mrs. Macleuchar now ascended her trap stair (for
such it might be called, though constructed of stone), until her nose came upon
a level with the pavement; then, after wiping her spectacles to look for that
which she well knew was not to be found, she exclaimed, with well-feigned
astonishment, "Gude guide us - saw ever anybody the like o'that!"
"Yes, you abominable woman," vociferated the traveller, "many have seen the
like of it, and all will see the like of it, that have anything to do with your
trolloping sex;" then, pacing with great indignation before the door of the
shop, still as he passed and repassed, like a vessel who gives her broadside as
she comes abreast of a hostile fortress, he shot down complaints, threats, and
reproaches, on the embarrassed Mrs. Macleuchar. He would take a post-chaise - he
would call a hackney -coach - he would take four horses - he must - -he would be
on the north side to-day - and all the expenses of his journey, besides damages,
direct and consequential, There was something so comic in his pettish resentment, that the younger
traveller, who was in no such pressing hurry to depart, could not help being
amused with it, especially as it was obvious, that every now and then the old
gentleman, though very angry, could not help laughing at his own vehemence. But
when Mrs. Macleuchar began also to join in the laughter, he quickly put a stop
to her ill-timed merriment.
"Woman," said he, "is that advertisement thine?" showing a bit of crumpled
printed paper: "Does it not set forth, that, God willing, as you hypocritically
express it, the Hawes Fly, or Queensferry Diligence, would set forth today at
twelve o'clock; and is it not, thou falsest of creatures, now a quarter past
twelve, and no such fly or diligence to be seen? - Dost thou know the
consequence of seducing the lieges by false reports? - Dost thou know it might
be brought under the statute of leasing-making? Answer; and for once in thy
long, useless, and evil life, let it be in the words of truth and sincerity -
hast thou such a coach? - Is it in rerum natura? - or is this base annunciation
a mere swindle on the incautious to beguile them of their time, their patience,
and three shillings of sterling money of this realm? - Hast thou, I say, such a
coach? ay or no?"
"Oh dear, yes, sir; the neighbours ken the diligence weel, green picked out
wi' red - three yellow wheels and a black ane."
"Woman, thy special description will not serve - it may be only a lie with a
circumstance."
"Oh, man, man!" said the overwhelmed Mrs. Macleuchar, totally exhausted by
having been so long the butt of his rhetoric, "take back your three shillings,
and mak me quit o' ye."
"Not so fast, not so fast, woman - will three shillings Here his argument was cut short by a lumbering noise, which proved to be the
advance of the expected vehicle, pressing forward with all the dispatch to which
the broken- winded jades that drew it could possibly be urged. With ineffable
pleasure, Mrs. Macleuchar saw her tormentor deposited in the leathern
convenience; but still, as it was driving off, his head thrust out of the
window reminded her, in wordsdrowned amid the rumbling of the wheels, that, if
the diligence did not attain the Ferry in time to save the flood-tide, she, Mrs.
Macleuchar, should be held responsible for all the consequences that might
ensue.
The coach had continued in motion for a mile or two before the stranger had
completely repossessed himself of his equanimity, as was manifested by the
doleful ejaculations, which he made from time to time, on the too great
probability, or even certainty, of their missing the flood- tide. By degrees,
however, his wrath subsided; he wiped his brows, relaxed his frown, and, undoing
the parcel in his hand, produced his folio, on which he gazed from time to time
with the knowing look of an amateur, admiring its height and condition, and
ascertaining, by a minute and individual inspection of each leaf, that the
volume was uninjured and entire from title-page to colophon. His fellow-
traveller took the liberty of inquiring the subject of his studies. He lifted up
his eyes with something of a sarcastic glance, as if he supposed the young
querist would not relish, or perhaps understand, his answer, and pronounced
the book to be Sandy Gordon's Itinerarium - Septentrionale, a book illustrative of the Roman remains in Scotland. The
querist unappalled by this learned title, proceeded to put several questions,
which indicated, that he had made good use of a good education, and, although
not possessed of minute information on the subject of antiquities, had yet
acquaintance enough with the classics to render him an interested and
intelligent auditor when they were enlarged upon. The elder traveller, observing
with pleasure the capacity of his temporary companion to understand and answer
him, plunged, nothing loath, into a sea of discussion concerning urns, vases,
votive altars, Roman camps, and the rules of castrametation.
The pleasure of this discourse had such a dulcifying tendency, that, although
two causes of delay occurred, each of much more serious duration than that which
had drawn down his wrath upon the unlucky Mrs. Macleuchar, our Antiquary only
bestowed on the delay the honour of a few episodical poohs and pshaws, which
rather seemed to regard the interruption of his disquisition than the retardation of his journey.
The first of these stops was occasioned by the breaking of a spring, which
half an hour's labour hardly repaired. The second, the Antiquary was himself
accessory, if not the principal cause of it; for, observing that one of the
horses had cast a fore-foot shoe, he apprised the coach- man of this important
deficiency. "It's Jamie Martingale that furnishes the naigs on contract, and
uphauds them," answered John, "and I am not entitled to make any stop, or to
suffer prejudice by the like of these accidents."
"And when you go to - I mean to the place you deserve to go to, you
scoundrel, - who do you think will uphold you on contract? If you don't stop
directly and carry the poor brute to the next smithy, I'll have you punished, if
there's a justice of peace in Mid-Lothian;" and, opening the coach I like so little to analyse the complication of the causes which influence
actions, that I will not venture to ascertain whether our Antiquary's humanity
to the poor horse was not in some degree aided by his desire of showing his
companion a Pict's camp, or Round-about, a subject which he had been elaborately
discussiong, and of which a specimen, "very curious and perfect indeed,"
happened to exist about a hundred yards distant from the place where this
interruption took place. But were I compelled to decompose the motives of my
worthy friend (for such was the gentleman in the sober suit, with powdered wig
and slouched hat), I should say, that, although he certainly would not in any
case have suffered the coachman to proceed while the horse was unfit for
service, and likely to suffer by being urged forward, yet the man of whipcord
escaped some severe abuse and reproach by the agreeable mode which the
traveller found out to pass the interval of delay.
So much time was consumed by these interruptions of their journey, that when
they descended the hill above the Hawes (for so the inn on the southern side of
the Queensferry is denominated), the experienced eye of the Antiquary at once
discerned, from the extent of wet sand, and the number of black stones and
rocks, covered with seaweed, which were visible along the skirts of the shore,
that the hour of tide was past. The young traveller expected a burst of
indignation; but whether, as Croaker says in "The Good- natured Man," our hero
had exhausted himself in fretting away his misfortunes beforehand, so that he
did not feel when they actually arrived, or whether he found the company in
which he was placed too congenial to lead him "The d--l's in the diligence and the old hag it belongs to!-Diligence, quoth
I? Thou shouldst have called it the Sloth - Fly!- quoth she? why it moves like a
fly through a glue-pot, as the Irishman says. But, however, time and tide tarry for no man;
and so, my young friend, we'll have a snack here at the Hawes, which is a very
decent sort of a place, and I'll be very happy to finish the account I was
giving you of the difference between the mode of entrenching castra stativa and
castra aestiva, things confounded by too many of our historians. Lack-a-day, if
they had ta'en the pains to satisfy their own eyes, instead of following each
other's blind guidance!- Well! we shall be pretty comfortable at the Hawes;
and besides, after all, we must have dined somewhere, and it will be pleasanter
sailing with the tide of ebb and the evening breeze."
In this Christian temper of making the best of all occurrences, our
travellers alighted at the Hawes.
As the senior
traveller descended the crazy steps of the diligence at the inn, he was greeted
by the fat, gouty, pursy landlord, with that mixture of familiarity and respect
which "have a care o' us, Monkbarns (distinguishing him by his territorial epithet,
always most agreeable to the ear of a Scottish proprietor), is this you? I
little thought to have seen your honour here till the summer session was ower."
"Ye donnard auld deevil," answered his guest, his Scottish accent
predominating when in anger, though otherwise not particularly remarkable, - "ye
donnard auld crippled idiot, what have I to do with the session, or the geese
that flock to it, or the hawks that pick their pinions for them?"
"Troth, and that's true," said mine host, who, in fact, only spoke upon a
very general recollection of the stranger's original education, yet would have
been sorry not to have been supposed accurate as to the station and profession
of him, or any other occasional guest - "That's very true - but I thought ye had
some law affair of your ain to look after - I have ane mysell - a ganging plea
that my father left me, and his father afore left to him. It's about our
backyard - ye'll maybe hae heard of it in the Parliament House, Hutchinson
against Mackitchinson - it's a weel-kenn'd plea- it's been four times afore the
fifteen, and deil onything the wisest o' them could make o't, but just to send
it out again to the Outer House - Oh, it's a beautiful thing to see how lang and
how carefully justice is considered in this country!"
"Hold your tongue, you fool," said the traveller, but in great good-humour,
"and tell us what you can give this young gentleman and me for dinner."
"Ou, there's fish, nae doubt, - that's sea-trout and caller haddocks," said
Mackitchinson, twisting his napkin; "and ye'll be for a mutton-chop, and there's
cranberry tarts, very weel preserved, and - and there's just onything else ye
like."
"Which is to say, there is nothing else whatever? Well, "Na, Na," said Mackitchinson, whose long and heedful perusal of volumes of
printed session papers had made him acquainted with some law phrases - "the
denner shall be served quam primum, and that peremptorie." And with the
flattering laugh of a promising host, he left them in his sanded parlour, hung
with prints of the Four Seasons.
As, notwithstanding his pledge to the contrary, the glorious delays of the
law were not without their parallel in the kitchen of the inn, our younger
traveller had an opportunity to step out and make some inquiry of the people of
the house concerning the rank and station of his companion. The information
which he received was of a general and less authentic nature, but quite
sufficient to make him acquainted with the name, history, and circumstances of
the gentleman, whom we shall endeavour, in a few words, to introduce more
accurately to our readers.
Jonathan Oldenbuck, or Oldinbuck, by popular contraction Oldbuck, of
Monkbarns, was the second son of a gentleman possessed of a small property in
the neighbourhood of a thriving seaport town on the north-eastern coast of
Scotland, which, for various reasons, we shall denominate Fairport. They had
been established for several generations as landholders in the county, and in
most shires of England would have been accounted a family of some standing. But
the shire of - was filled with gentlemen of more ancient descent and larger
fortune. In the last generation also, the neighbouring gentry had been almost
uniformly Jacobites, while the proprietors of Monkbarns, like the burghers of
the town near which they were settled, were steady assertors of the Protestant
succession. The The history of that proprietor himself is soon told. Being, as we have said,
a second son, his father destined him to a share in a substantial mercantile
concern, carried on by some of his maternal relations. From this Jonathan's mind
revolted in the most irreconcilable manner. He was then put apprentice to the
profession of a writer, or attorney, in which he profited so far, that he made
himself master of the whole forms of feudal investitures, and showed such
pleasure in reconciling their incongruities, and tracing their origin, that his
master had great hope he would one day be an able conveyancer. But he halted
upon the threshold, and, though he acquired some knowledge of the origin and
system of the law of his country, he could never be persuaded to apply it to
lucrative and practical purposes. It was not from any inconsiderate neglect of
the advantages attending the possession of money that he thus deceived the hopes
of his master. "Were he thoughtless or light- headed, or rei suae prodigus,"
said his instructor, "I would know what to make of him. But he never pays away a
shilling without looking anxiously after the change, makes his sixpence go
farther than another lad's half-crown, and will ponder over an old black-letter
copy of the Acts of Parliament for days, rather than go to the golf or the
change-house; and yet he will not bestow one of these days on a
little business of routine, that would put twenty shillings in his pocket - a
strange mixture of frugality and industry, and negligent indolence - I don't
know what to make of him."
But in process of time his pupil gained the means of making what he pleased
of himself; for his father having died, was not long survived by his eldest son,
an arrant fisher and fowler, who departed this life, in consequence of a cold
caught in his vocation, while shooting ducks in the swamp called
Kittlefitting-moss, notwithstanding his having drunk a bottle of brandy that
very night to keep the cold out of his stomach. Jonathan, therefore, succeeded
to the estate, and with it to the means of subsisting without the hated drudgery
of the law. His wishes were very moderate; and as the rent of his small property
rose with the improvement of the country, it soon greatly exceeded his wants
and expenditure; and though too indolent to make money, he was by no means
insensible to the pleasure of beholding it accumulate. The burghers of the town
near which he lived regarded him with a sort of envy, as one who affected to
divide himself from their rank in society, and whose studies and pleasures
seemed to them alike incomprehensible. Still, however, a sort of hereditary
respect for the Laird of Monkbarns, augmented by the knowledge of his being a
ready-money man, kept up his consequence with this class of his neighbours. The
country gentlemen were generally above him in fortune, and beneath him in
intellect, and, excepting one with whom he lived in habits of intimacy, had
little intercourse with Mr. Oldbuck of Monkbarns. He had, however, the usual
resources, the company of the clergyman, and of the doctor, when he chose to
request it, and also his own pursuits and pleasures, being in correspondence
with most of the virtuosi of his time, who, like himself, measured decayed
entrenchments, made plans of During the time of dinner, Mr. Oldbuck, actuated by the same curiosity which
his fellow-traveller had entertained on his account, made some advances, which
his age and station entitled him to do in a more direct manner, towards ascertaining the name, destination, and quality of his young companion.
His name, the young gentleman said, was Lovel.
"What! the cat, the rat, and Lovel our dog? Was he descended from King
Richard's favourite?"
"He had no pretensions," he said, "to call himself a whelp of that litter;
his father was a north-of-England gentleman. He was at present travelling to
Fairport (the town near to which Monkbarns was situated), and, if he found the
place agreeable, might perhaps remain there for some weeks."
"Was Mr. Lovel's excursion solely for pleasure?"
"Not entirely."
"Perhaps on business with some of the commercial people of Fairport?" "It was partly on business, but had no reference to commerce."
Here he paused; and Mr. Oldbuck having pushed his inquiries as far as good
manners permitted, was obliged to change the conversation. The Antiquary, though
by no means an enemy to good cheer, was a determined foe to all unnecessary
expense on a journey; and upon his companion giving a hint concerning a bottle
of port wine, he drew a direful picture of the mixture, which, he said, was
usually sold under that denomination, and affirming that a little punch was more
genuine and better suited for the season, he laid his hand upon the bell to
order the materials. But Mackitchinson had, in his own mind, settled their
beverage otherwise, and appeared bearing in his hand an immense double quart
bottle, or magnum, as it is called in Scotland, covered with sawdust and
cobwebs, the warrants of its antiquity.
"Punch!" said he, catching that generous sound as he entered the parlour,
"the deil a drap punch ye'se get here the day, Monkbarns, and that ye may lay
your account wi'."
"What do you mean, you impudent rascal?"
"Ay, ay, it's nae matter for that - but do you mind the trick ye served me
the last time ye were here?"
"I trick you!"
"Ay, just yoursell, Monkbarns. The Laird o'Tamlowrie, and Sir Gilbert
Grizzlecleugh, and Auld Rossballoh, and the Bailie, were just setting in to make
an afternoon o't, and you, wi' some o' your auld-warld stories, that the mind o'
man canna resist, whirl'd them to the back o' beyont to look at the auld Roman
camp - Ah, sir!" turning to Lovel, "he wad wile the bird aff the tree wi' the
tales he tells about folk Lang syne - and did not I lose the drinking o' sax
pints o' gude claret, for the deil ane wad hae stirred till he had seen that out
at the least?" "D'ye hear the impudent scoundrel!" said Monkbarns, but laughing at the same
time; for the worthy landlord, as he used to boast, knew the measure of a
guest's foot as well as e'er a souter on this side Solway; "well, well, you may
send us in a bottle of port."
"Port! Na, Na! ye maun leave port and punch to the like o'us, it's claret
that's fit for you lairds; and, I dare say, nane of the folk ye speak so much o'
ever drank either of the twa."
"Do you hear how absolute the knave is? Well, my young friend, we must for
once prefer the Falernian to the vile Sabinum."
The ready landlord had the cork instantly extracted, decanted the wine into
a vessel of suitable capaciousness, and, declaring it parfumed the very room,
left his guests to make the most of it.
Mackitchinson's wine was really good, and had its effect upon the spirits of
the elder guest, who told some good stories, cut some sly jokes, and at length
entered into a learned discussion concerning the ancient dramatists; a ground on
which he found his new acquaintance so strong, that at length he began to
suspect he had made them his professional study. "A traveller partly for
business and partly for pleasure? - Why, the stage partakes of both; it is a
labour to the performers, and affords, or is meant to afford, pleasure to the
spectators. He seems, in manner and rank, above the class of young men who take
that turn; but I remember hearing them say, that the little theatre at Fairport was to open with the performance of a young gentleman, being his first
appearance on any stage. - If this should be thee, Lovel? - Lovel? yes, Lovel or
Belville are just the names which youngsters are apt to assume on such occasions
- on my life, I am sorry for the lad."
Mr. Oldbuck was habitually parsimonious, but in no respects mean; his first
thought was to save his fellow- The mutual satisfaction which they found in each other's society induced Mr.
Oldbuck to propose, and Lovel willingly to accept, a scheme for travelling
together to the end of their journey. Mr. Oldbuck intimated a wish to pay two-
thirds of the hire of a post-chaise, saying, that a proportional quantity of
room was necessary to his accommodation; but this Mr. Lovel resolutely declined.
Their expense then was mutual, unless when Lovel occasionally slipt a shilling
into the hand of a growling postillion; for Oldbuck, tenacious of ancient
customs, never extended his guerdon beyond eighteenpence a stage. In this manner
they travelled, until they arrived at Fairport about two o'clock on the
following day.
Lovel probably expected that his travelling companion would have invited him
to dinner on his arrival; but his consciousness of a want of ready preparation
for unexpected guests, and perhaps some other reasons, prevented Oldbuck from
paying him that attention. He only begged to see him as early as he could make
it convenient to call in a forenoon, recommended him to a widow who had
apartments to let, and to a person who kept a decent ordinary; cautioning both
of them apart, that he only knew Mr. Lovel as a pleasant companion in a
post-chaise, and did not mean to guarantee any bills which he might contract
while residing at Fairport. The young gentleman's figure and manners, not to
mention a well-furnished trunk, which soon arrived by sea, to his address at
Fairport, probably went as far in his favour as the limited recommendation of
his fellow-traveller.
He had a routh o'auld nick-nackets, After he had settled himself in his new apartments at Fairport, Mr. Lovel
bethought him of paying the requested visit to his fellow-traveller. He did not
make it earlier, because, with all the old gentleman's good-humour and
information, there had sometimes glanced forth in his language and manner
towards him an air of superiority, which his companion considered as being
fully beyond what the difference of age warranted. He therefore waited the
arrival of his baggage from Edinburgh, that he might arrange his dress according
to the fashion of the day, and make his exterior corresponding to the rank in
society which he supposed or felt himself entitled to hold.
It was the fifth day after his arrival, that, having made the necessary
inquiries concerning the road, he went forth to pay his respects at Monkbarns. A
footpath leading over a heathy hill, and through two or three meadows, conducted
him to this mansion, which stood on the opposite side of the hill aforesaid, and
commanded a fine prospect of the bay and shipping. Secluded from the town by the
rising ground, which also screened it from the north-west wind, the house had a
solitary and sheltered appearance. The exterior had little to recommend it. It
was an irregular old-fashioned building, some part of which had belonged to a
grange, or solitary farmhouse, inhabited by the bailiff, or steward, of Mr. Oldbuck immediately rose, and advanced to greet his travelling
acquaintance with a hearty shake of the hand. "By my faith," said he, "I began
to think you had changed your mind, and found the stupid people of Fairport so
"I hope, my good sir, I should have fallen under no such imputation."
"Quite as bad, let me tell you, if you had stolen yourself away without
giving me the pleasure of seeing you again. I had rather you had taken my copper
Otho himself. - But come, let me show you the way into my sanctum sanctorum, my
cell I may call it, for, except two idle hussies of womankind (by this
contemptuous phrase, borrowed from his brother antiquary, the cynic Anthony a-Wood, Mr. Oldbuck was used to denote the fair sex in general, and his sister and
niece in particular), that, on some idle pretext of relationship, have
established themselves in my premises, I live here as much a Caenobite as my
predecessor, John o' the Girnell, whose grave I will show you by and by."
Thus speaking, the old gentleman led the way through a low door; but, before
entrance, suddenly stopped short to point out some vestiges of what he called an
inscription, and, shaking his head as he pronounced it totally illegible, "Ah!
if you knew, Mr. Lovel, the time and trouble that these mouldering traces of
letters have cost me! No mother ever travailed so for a child - and all to no
purpose - although I am almost positive that these two last marks imply the
figures, or letters, LV, and may give us a good guess at the real date of the
building, since we know, aliunde, that it was founded by Abbot Waldimir about
the middle of the fourteenth century - and, I profess, I think that centre
ornament might be made out by better eyes than mine."
"I think," answered Lovel, willing to humour the old man, "it has something
the appearance of a mitre." "I protest you are right! you are right! it never struck me before - see what
it is to have younger eyes - a mitre, a mitre, it corresponds in every respect."
The resemblance was not much nearer than that of Polonius's cloud to a whale,
or an owzel; it was sufficient, however, to set the Antiquary's brains to work.
"A mitre, my dear sir," continued he, as he led the way through a labyrinth of
inconvenient and dark passages, and accompanied his disquisition with certain
necessary cautions to his guest - "A mitre, my dear sir, will suit our abbot as
well as a bishop - he was a mitred abbot, and at the very top of the roll - take
care of these three steps - I know Mac-Cribb denies this, but it is as certain
as that he took away my Antigonus, no leave asked - you'll see the name of the
Abbot of Trotcosey, Abbas Trottocosiensis, at the head of the rolls of
Parliament in the fourteenth and fifteenth centuries - there is very little
light here, and these cursed womankind always leave their tubs in the passage
- now take care of the corner - ascend twelve steps, and ye are safe!"
Mr. Oldbuck had, by this time, attained the top of the winding stair which
led to his own apartment, and opening a door, and pushing aside a piece of
tapestry with which it was covered, his first exclamation was, "What are you
about here, you sluts?" A dirty barefooted chambermaid threw down her duster,
detected in the heinous fact of arranging the sanctum sanctorum, and fled out of
an opposite door from the face of her incensed master. A genteel-looking young
woman, who was superintending the operation, stood her ground, but with some
timidity.
"Indeed, uncle, your room was not fit to be seen, and I just came to see that
Jenny laid everything down where she took it up."
"And how dare you, or Jenny either, presume to meddle with my private
matters? (Mr. Oldbuck hated putting to The young lady, after curtseying to Lovel, had taken the opportunity to make
her escape during this enumeration of losses. "You'll be poisoned here with the
volumes of dust they have raised," continued the Antiquary; "but I assure you
the dust was very ancient, peaceful, quiet dust, about an hour ago, and would
have remained so for a hundred years, had not these gipsies disturbed it, as
they do everything else in the world."
It was, indeed, some time before Lovel could, through the thick atmosphere,
perceive in what sort of den his friend had constructed his retreat. It was a
lofty room of middling size, obscurely lighted by high narrow latticed windows.
One end was entirely occupied by book-shelves, greatly too limited in space for
the number of volumes placed upon them, which were, there fore, drawn up in
ranks of two or three files deep, while numberless others littered the floor and
the tables, amid a chaos of maps, engravings, scraps of parchment, bundles of
papers, pieces of old armour, swords, dirks, helmets, and Highland targets.
Behind Mr. Oldbuck's seat (which was an ancient leathern-covered easy-chair, worn smooth by constant use), was a huge oaken cabinet, decorated
at each corner with Dutch cherubs, having their little duck-wings displayed, and
great jolter- headed visages placed between them. The top of this cabinet was
covered with busts, and Roman lamps and paterae, intermingled with one or two
bronze figures. The walls of the apartment were partly clothed with grim old
tapestry, representing the memorable story of Sir Gawaine's wedding, in which
full justice was done to the ugliness of the Lothely Lady; although, to judge
from his own looks, the gentle knight had less reason to be disgusted with the
match on account of disparity of outward favour, than the romancer has given us
to understand. The rest of the room was panelled, or wainscoted, with black oak,
against which Scottish history, favourites of Mr. Oldbuck, and as many in
tie-wigs and laced coats, staring representatives of his own ancestors. A large
old-fashioned oaken table was covered with a profusion of papers, parchments,
books, and nondescript trinkets and gew-gaws, which seemed to have little to
recommend them, besides rust and the antiquity which it indicates. In the midst
of this wreck of ancient books and utensils, with a gravity equal to Marius
among the ruins of Carthage, sat a large black cat, which, to a superstitiouseye, might have presented the genius loci, the tutelar demon of the apartment.
The floor, as well as the table and chairs, was overflowed by the same mare
magnum of miscellaneous trumpery, where it would have been as impossible to find
any individual article wanted, as to put it to any use when discovered.
Amid this medley, it was no easy matter to find one's way to a chair, without
stumbling over a prostrate folio, or the still more awkward mischance of
overturning some piece of Roman or ancient British pottery. And, when the chair
Having at length fairly settled himself, and being nothing loath to make
inquiry concerning the strange objects around him, which his host was equally
ready, as far as possible, to explain, Lovel was introduced to a large club, or
bludgeon, with an iron spike at the end of it, which, it seems, had been lately
found in a field on the Monkbarns property adjacent to an old burying-ground. It
had mightily the air of such a stick as the Highland reapers use to walk with on
their annual peregrinations from their mountains; but Mr. Oldbuck was strongly
tempted to believe, that, as its shape was singular, it might have been one of
the clubs with which the monks armed their peasants in lieu of more martial
weapons, whence, he observed, the villains were called Colvecarles, or
Kolb-kerls, that is, Clavigeri, or club-bearers. For the truth of this custom, he
quoted the Chronicle of Antwerp and that of St. Martin; against which
authorities Lovel had nothing to oppose, having never heard of them till that
moment.
Mr. Oldbuck next exhibited thumb-screws, which had given the Covenanters of
former days the cramp in their joints, and a collar with the name of a fellow
convicted of theft, whose services, as the inscription bore, had been This pithy motto he delivered, shaking his head, and giving each guttural the
true Anglo-Saxon enunciation, which is now forgotten in the southern parts of
this realm.
The collection was, indeed, a curious one, and might well be envied by an
amateur. Yet it was not collected at the enormous prices of modern times, which
are sufficient to have appalled the most determined, as well as earliest
bibliomaniac upon record, whom we take to have been none else than the renowned
Don Quixote de la Mancha, as, among other slight indications of an infirm
understanding, he is stated, by his veracious historian, Cid Hamet Benengeli, to
have exchanged fields and farms for folios and quartos of chivalry. In this
species of exploit, the good knight- errant has been imitated by lords, knights,
and squires of our own day, though we have not heard of any that has mistaken an
inn for a castle, or laid his lance in rest against a windmill. Mr. Oldbuck did
not follow these collectors in such excess of expenditure; but, taking a
pleasure in the personal labour of forming his library, saved his purse at the
expense of his time and toil. He was no encourager of that ingenious race of
peripatetic middlemen, who, trafficking between the obscure keeper
of a stall and the eager amateur, make their profit at once of the ignorance of
the former, and the dear-bought skill and taste of the latter. When such were
mentioned in his hearing, he seldom failed to point out how necessary it was to
arrest the object of your curiosity in its first transit, and tell his favourite
story of Snuffy Davie and Caxton's Game at Chess. - "Davy Wilson," he said,
"commonly called Snuffy Davy, from his inveterate addiction to black rappee was
the very prince of scouts for searching blind alleys, cellars, and stalls, for
rare volumes. He had the scent of a slow-hound, sir, and the snap of a bull-dog.
He would detect you an old black-letter ballad among the leaves of a law-paper,
and find an editio princeps under the mask of a school Corderius. Snuffy Davie
bought the 'Game of Chess, 1474,' the first book ever printed in England, from a
stall in Holland, for about two groschen, or twopence of our money. He sold it
to Osborne for twenty pounds, and as many books as came to twenty pounds more.
Osborne resold this inimitable windfall to Dr. Askew for sixty guineas. At Dr.
Askew's sale," continued the old gentleman, kindling as he spoke, "this
inestimable treasure blazed forth in its full value, and was purchased by
Royalty itself, for one hundred and seventy pounds' Could a copy now occur, Lord
only knows," he ejaculated, with a deep sigh and lifted-up hands, "Lord only
knows what would b e its ransom; and yet it was originally secured, by skill and
research, for the easy equivalent of twopence sterling. Happy, thrice happy,
Snuffy Davie! and blessed were the times when thy industry could be so rewarded!
"Even I, sir," he went on, "though far inferior in industry, Lovel was not a little amused at hearing the old gentleman run on in this
manner, and, however incapable of entering into the full merits of what he
beheld, he admired, as much as he could have been expected, the various
treasures which Oldbuck exhibited. Here were editions esteemed as being the
first, and there stood those scarcely less regarded as being the last and best;
here was a book valued because it had the author's final improvements, and there
another which (strange to tell!) was in request because it was a folio, another
because it was a duodecimo; some because they were tall, some because they were
short; the merit of this lay in the title-page, of that in the arrangement of
the letters in the word Finis. There was, it seemed, no peculiar distinction,
however trifling or minute, which might not give value to a volume providing the
indispensable quality of scarcity, or rare occurrence, was attached to it.
Not the least fascinating was the original broadside - the Dying Speech,
Bloody Murder, or Wonderful Wonder of Wonders, in its primary tattered guise, as
it was hawked through the streets, and sold for the cheap and easy price of one
penny, though now worth the weight of that penny in gold. On these the Antiquary
dilated with transport, and read, with a rapturous voice, the elaborate titles,
which bore the same proportion to the contents that the painted signs without a
showman's booth do to the animals within. Mr. Oldbuck, for example, piqued
himself especially in possessing an unique broadside, entitled and called
"Strange and Wonderful News from Chipping-Norton, in the County of Oxon, of
certain dreadful Apparitions which were seen in the Air on the 26th of July,
1610, at Half an Hour after Nine "You laugh at this," said the proprietor of the collection, "and I forgive
you. I do acknowledge that the charms on which we doat are not so obvious to the
eyes of youth as those of a fair lady; but you will grow wiser, and see more
justly, when you come to wear spectacles. - Yet stay, I have one piece of
antiquity which you, perhaps, will prize more highly."
So saying, Mr. Oldbuck unlocked a drawer, and took out a bundle of keys, then
pulled aside a piece of the tapestry which concealed the door of a small closet,
into which he descended by four stone steps, and, after some tinkling among
bottles and cans, produced two long-stalked wine-glasses with bell mouths, such
as are seen in Teniers' pieces, and a small bottle of what he called rich racy
canary, with a little bit of diet- cake, on a small silver server of exquisite
old workmanship. "I will say nothing of the server," he remarked, "though it is
said to have been wrought by the old mad Florentine, Benvenuto
Cellini. But, Mr. Lovel, our ancestors drunk sack - you, who admire the drama,
know where that's to be found. - Here's success to your exertions at Fairport,
sir!"
"And to you, sir, and an ample increase to your treasure, with no more
trouble on your part than is just necessary to make the acquisitions valuable."
After a libation so suitable to the amusement in which they had been engaged,
Lovel rose to take his leave, and Mr.Oldbuck prepared to give him his company
a part of the way, and show him something worthy of his curiosity on his return
to Fairport.
The pawky auld carle cam ower the lea, Our two friends moved through a little orchard, where the aged apple-trees,
well loaded with fruit, showed, as is usual in the neighbourhood of monastic
buildings, that the days of the monks had not always been spent in indolence,
but often dedicated to horticulture and gardening. Mr. Oldbuck failed not to make Lovel
remark, that the planters of those days were possessed of the modern secret of
preventing the roots of the fruit-trees from penetrating the till, and
compelling them to spread in a lateral direction, by placing paving-stones
beneath the trees when first planted, so as to interpose between their fibres
and the subsoil. "This old fellow," he said, "which was blown down last summer,
and still, though half reclined on the ground, is covered with fruit, has been,
as you may see, accommodated with such a barrier between Eve prognosticated a similar fall. As the honour of a noble family is
concerned, I will say no more on the subject, only that the lands of Lochard and
Cringlecut still pay a fine of six bolls of barley annually, to atone the guilt
of their audacious owner, who intruded himself and his worldly suspicions upon
the seclusion of the Abbot and his penitent. Admire the little belfry rising
above the ivy-mantled porch - there was here a hospitium, hospitale, or
hospitamentum (for it is written all these various ways in the old writings and
evidents), in which the monks received pilgrims - I know our minister has said,
in the Statistical Account, that the hospitium was situated either on the lands
of Haltweary, or upon those of Half-starvet; but he is incorrect, Mr. Lovel-that
is the gate called still the Palmer's Port, and my gardener found many hewn
stones, when he was trenching the ground for winter celery, several of which I
have sent as specimens to my learned friends, and to the various antiquarian
societies of which I am an unworthy member. But I will say no more at present; I
reserve something for another visit, and we have an object of real curiosity
before us."
While he was thus speaking, he led the way briskly through one or two rich
pasture meadows to an open heath or common, and so to the top of a gentle
eminence. "Here," he said, "Mr. Lovel, is a truly remarkable spot."
"It commands a fine view," said his companion looking around him.
"True: but it is not for the prospect I brought you "Why yes; I do see something like a ditch, indistinctly marked."
"Indistinctly! - pardon me, sir, but the indistinctness must be in your
powers of vision - nothing can be more plainly traced - a proper agger or
vallum, with its corresponding ditch or fossa. Indistinctly! why, Heaven help
you, the lassie, my niece, as light headed a goose as womankind affords, saw the
traces of the ditch at once. Indistinct! why, the great station at Ardoch, or
that at Burnswark in Annandale, may be clearer, doubtless, because they are
stative forts, whereas this was only an occasional encampment. Indistinct!
why, you must suppose that fools, boors, and idiots, have ploughed up the land,
and, like beasts and ignorant savages, have thereby obliterated two sides of the
square, and greatly injured the third; but you see, yourself, the fourth side is
quite entire!"
Lovel endeavoured to apologise, and to explain away his ill-timed phrase, and
pleaded his inexperience. But he was not at once quite successful. His first
expression had come too frankly and naturally not to alarm the Antiquary, and he
could not easily get over the shock it had given him.
"My dear sir, " continued the senior, "your eyes are not inexperienced: you
know a ditch from level ground, I presume, when you see them? Indistinct! why,
the very common people, the very least boy that can herd a cow, calls it the
Kaim of Kinprunes; and if that does not imply an ancient camp, I am ignorant
what does."
Lovel having again acquiesced, and at length lulled to sleep the irritated
and suspicious vanity of the Antiquary, he proceeded in his task of cicerone.
"You must know," he said, "our Scottish antiquaries have been greatly divided
about the local situation of the final conflict between Agricola "Certainly, sir; for the Dutch antiquaries claim Caligula as the founder of a
lighthouse, on the sole authority of the letters C. C. P. F., which they
interpret Caius Caligula Pharum Fecit."
"True, and it has ever been recorded as a sound exposition. I see we shall
make something of you even before you wear spectacles, notwithstanding you
thought the traces of this beautiful camp indistinct when you first observed
them."
"In time, sir, and by good instruction - "
" - You will become more apt - I
doubt it not. You shall peruse, upon your next visit to Monkbarns, my trivial
Essay upon Castrametation, with some particular Remarks upon the Vestiges of
Ancient Fortifications lately discovered by the Author at the Kaim of Kinprunes.
I think I have pointed out the infallible touchstone of supposed antiquity. I
premise a few general rules on that point, on the nature, namely of the evidence
to be received in such cases. Meanwhile be pleased to observe, for example, that
I could press into my service Claudian's famous line,
'Ille Caledoniis posuit quid castra pruinis.'
For pruinis, though interpreted
to mean hoar frosts, to which I own we are somewhat subject in this
northeastern sea-coast, may also signify a locality, namely, Prunes; the Castra
Pruinis posita would therefore be the Kaim of Kinprunes. But I waive this, for I
am sensible it might be laid hold of by cavillers as carrying down my Castra to
-----See, then, Lovel - See - -
Yes, my dear friend, from this stance it is
probable, - nay, it is nearly certain, that Julius Agricola beheld what our
Beaumont has so admirably described! - From this very Praetorium---"
A voice from behind interrupted his ecstatic description - "Praetorian here,
Praetorian there, I mind the bigging o't."
Both at once turned round, Lovel with surprise, and Oldbuck with mingled
surprise and indignation, at so uncivil an interruption. An auditor had stolen
upon them, "What is that you say, Edie?" said Oldbuck, hoping, perhaps, that his ears
had betrayed their duty; "What were you speaking about?"
"About this bit bourock, your honour," answered the undaunted Edie; "I mind
the bigging o't."
"The devil you do! Why, you old fool, it was here before you were born, and
will be after you are hanged, man!"
"Hanged or drowned, here or awa, dead or alive, I mind the bigging o't."
"You-you-you," said the Antiquary, stammering between confusion and anger,
"you strolling old vagabond, what the devil do you know about it?"
"Ou, I ken this about it, Monkbarns, and what profit have I for telling ye a
lie - I just ken this about it, that about twenty years syne, I, and a wheen
hallenshakers like mysell, and the mason-lads that built the Lang dyke that gaes
down the loaning, and twa or three herds maybe, just set to wark, and built this
bit thing here that ye ca' the- the-Praetorian, and a' just for a bield at auld
Aiken Drum's This, thought Lovel to himself, is a famous counterpart to the story of Keip
on this syde. - He then ventured to steal a glance at our Antiquary, but quickly
withdrew it in sheer compassion. For, gentle reader, if thou hast ever beheld
the visage of a damsel of sixteen, whose romance of true love has been blown up
by an untimely discovery, or of a child of ten years, whose castle of cards has
been blown down by a malicious companion, I can safely aver to you, that
Jonathan Oldbuck of Monkbarns looked neither more wise nor less disconcerted.
"There is some mistake about this," he said, abruptly turning away from the
mendicant.
"Deil a bit on my side o' the wa'," answered the sturdy beggar; "I never deal
in mistakes, they aye bring mischances. - Now, Monkbarns, that young
gentleman, that's wi' your honour, thinks little of a carle like me; and yet,
I'll wager I'll tell him whar he was yestreen at the gloamin', only he maybe
wadna like to hae't spoken o' in company."
Lovel's soul rushed to his cheeks, with the vivid blush of two-and-twenty.
"Never mind the old rogue," said Mr. Oldbuck; "don't suppose I think the
worse of you for your profession; they are only prejudiced fools and coxcombs
that do so. You remember what old Tully says in his oration, pro Archia poeta,
concerning one of your confraternity - Quis nostrum tam animo agresti ac duro
fuit-ut-ut- I forget the Latin - the meaning is, which of us was so rude and
barbarous The words of the old man fell upon Lovel's ears, but without conveying any
precise idea to his mind, which was then occupied in thinking by what means the
old beggar, who still continued to regard him with a countenance provokingly
sly and intelligent, had contrived to thrust himself into any knowledge of his
affairs. He put his hand in his pocket as the readiest mode of intimating his
desire of secrecy, and securing the concurrence of the person who he addressed;
and while he bestowed him an alms, the amount of which rather bore proportion to
his fears than to his charity, looked at him with a marked expression, which the
mendicant, a physiognomist by profession, seemed perfectly to understand. -
"Never mind me, sir, I am no tale-pyet; but there are mair een in the warld than
mine," answered he, as he pocketed Lovel's bounty, but in a tone to be heard by
him alone, and with an expression which amply filled up what was left unspoken. Then turning to Oldbuck - "I am awa to the manse, your honour. Has your
honour ony word there or to Sir Arthur, for I'll come in by Knockwinnock Castle
again e'en?"
Oldbuck started as from a dream; and, in a hurried tone, where vexation
strove with a wish to conceal it, paying, at the same time, a tribute to Edie's
smooth, greasy, unlined hat, he said, "Go down, go down to Monkbarns - let them
give you some dinner - or stay; if you do go to the manse, or to Knockwinnock,
ye need say nothing about that foolish story of yours."
"Who, I?" said the mendicant - "Lord bless your honour, "Provoking scoundrel," muttered the indignant Antiquary between his teeth, -
"I'll have the hangman's lash and his back acquainted for this!" - And then in a
louder tone,- "Never mind, Edie - it is all a mistake."
"Troth, I am thinking sae," continued his tormentor, who seemed to have
pleasure in rubbing the galled wound, "troth, I aye thought sae; and it's no sae
Lang since I said to Luckie Gemmels, 'Never think you, luckie,' said I, 'that
his honour, Monkbarns, would hae done sic a daft-like thing as to gie grund weel
worth fifty shillings an acre, for a mailing that would be dear o' a pund Scots.
Na, na,' quo I, 'depend upon't the laird's been imposed upon wi' that wily
do-little deevil, Johnnie Howie.' 'But Lord haud a care o' us, sirs, how can
that be,' quo' she again, 'when the laird's sae book-learned, there's no the
like o' him in the country side, and Johnnie Howie has hardly sense eneugh to
ca' the cows out o' his kale-yard? 'Aweel, aweel,' quo' I, 'but ye'll hear he's
circumvented him with some of his auld-warld stories,' - for ye ken, laird, yon
other time about the bodle that ye thought was an auld coin - "
"Go to the devil!" said Oldbuck; and then in a more mild tone, as one that
was conscious his reputation lay at the mercy of his antagonist, he added -
"Away with you down to Monkbarns, and when I come back, I'll send ye a bottle of
ale to the kitchen."
"Heaven reward your honour!" This was uttered with "Curse thee, go about thy business!"
"Aweel, aweel, sir, God bless your honour! - I hope ye'll ding Johnnie Howie
yet, and that I'll live to see it." And so saying, the old beggar moved off,
relieving Mr. Oldbuck of recollections which were anything rather than
agreeable.
"Who is this familiar old gentleman?" said Lovel, when the mendicant was out
of hearing.
"Oh, one of the plagues of the country - I have been always against
poor's-rates and a workhouse - I think I'll vote for them now, to have that
scoundrel shut up. Oh, your old-remembered guest of a beggar becomes as well
acquainted with you as he is with his dish - as intimate as one of the beasts
familiar to man which signify love, and with which his own trade is especially
conversant. Who is he? - Why, he has gone the vole -has been soldier, ballad-
singer, travelling tinker, and is now a beggar. He is spoiled by our foolish
gentry, who laugh at his jokes, and rehearse Edie Ochiltree's good things as
regularly as Joe Miller's."
"Why, he uses freedom apparently, which is the soul of wit," answered Lovel.
"Oh ay, freedom enough," said the Antiquary; "he generally invents some
damned improbable lie or another to provoke you, like that nonsense he talked
just now - not that I'll publish my tract till I have examined the thing to the
bottom."
"In England," said Lovel, "such a mendicant would get a speedy check."
"Yes, your churchwardens and dog-whips would make slender allowance for his
vein of humour! But here, curse So saying, our heroes parted, Mr. Oldbuck to return to his hospitium at
Monkbarns, and Lovel to pursue his way to Fairport, where he arrived without
farther adventure.
Launcelot Gobbo Mark me now: Now will I raise the waters. The theatre at Fairport had opened, but no Mr. Lovel appeared on the
boards, nor was there anything in the habits or deportment of the young
gentleman so named, which authorised Mr. Oldbuck's conjecture that his fellow-
traveller was a candidate for the public favour. Regular were the Antiquary's
inquiries at an old-fashioned barber who dressed the only three wigs in the
parish, which, in defiance of taxes and times, were still subjected to the
operation of powdering and frizzling, and who for that He brought information, on the contrary, that there was a young man residing
at Fairport, of whom the town (by which he meant all the gossips, who, having no
business of their own, fill up their leisure moments by attending to that of
other people) could make nothing. He sought no society, but rather avoided that,
which the apparent gentleness of his manners, and some degree of curiosity,
induced many to offer him. Nothing could be more regular, or less resembling
an adventurer, than his mode of living, which was simple, but so completely well
arranged, that all who had any transactions with him were loud in their
approbation.
These are not the virtues of a stage-struck hero, thought Oldbuck to himself;
and, however habitually pertinacious in his opinions, he must have been
compelled to abandon that which he had formed in the present instance, but for a
part of Caxon's communication. "The young gentleman," he said, "was sometimes
heard speaking to himsell, and rampauging about in his room, just as if he was
ane o' the player folk."
Nothing, however, excepting this single circumstance, occurred to confirm Mr.
Oldbuck's supposition, and it remained a high and doubtful question, what a
well-informed young man, without friends, connections, or employment of any
kind, could have to do as a resident at Fairport. One negative, however, was important - nobody knew any harm of Lovel. Indeed,
had such existed, it would have been speedily made public; for the natural
desire of speaking evil of our neighbour could in his case have been checked by
no feelings of sympathy for a being so unsocial. On one account alone he fell
somewhat under suspicion. As he made free use of his pencil in his solitary
walks, and had drawn several views of the harbour, in which the signal- tower,
and even the four-gun battery, were introduced, some zealous friends of the
public sent abroad a whisper, that this mysterious stranger must certainly be a
French spy. The Sheriff paid his respects to Mr. Lovel accordingly, but in the
interview which followed, it would seem that he had entirely removed that
magistrate's suspicions, since he not only suffered him to remain undisturbed in
his retirement, but, it was credibly reported, sent him two invitations to
dinner- parties, both which were civilly declined. But what the nature of the
explanation was, the magistrate kept a profound secret, not only from the
public at large, but from his All these particulars being faithfully reported by Mr. Caxon to his patron at
Monkbarns, tended much to raise Lovel in the opinion of his former
fellow-traveller. "A decent sensible lad," said he to himself, "who scorns to
enter into the fooleries and nonsense of these idiot people at Fairport - I must
do something for him - I must give him a dinner - and I will write Sir Arthur to
come to Monkbarns to meet him - I must consult my womankind."
Accordingly, such consultation having been previously held, a special
messenger, being no other than Caxon himself, was ordered to prepare for a
walk to Knockwinnock Castle with a letter, "For the honoured Sir Arthur Wardour,
of Knockwinnock, Bart." The contents ran thus:
"DEAR SIR ARTHUR, - On Tuesday the 17th curt. stilo novo, I hold a
caenobitical symposion at Monkbarns, and pray you to assist thereat, at four
o'clock precisely. If my fair enemy, Miss Isabel, can and will honour us by
accompanying you, my womankind will be but too proud to have the aid of such
an auxiliary in the cause of resistance to awful rule and right supremacy. If
not, I will send the womankind to the manse for the day. I have a young
acquaintance to make known to you, who is touched with some strain of a better
spirit than belongs to these giddy- paced times - reveres his elders, and has a
pretty notion of the classics - and, as such a youth must have a natural
contempt for the people about Fairport, I wash to show him some rational as well
as worshipful society. - I am, dear Sir Arthur, &c.&c.&c."
"Fly with this letter, Caxon," said the senior, holding out his missive,
signatum atque sigillatum, "fly to Knockwinnock, and bring me back
an answer. Go as fast as if the town-council were met, and waiting for the
provost, and the provost was waiting for his new-powdered wig."
"Ah! sir," answered the messenger, with a deep sigh, "thae days hae Lang gane
by. Deil a wig has a provost of Fairport worn sin' the auld Provost Jervie's
time - and he had a quean of a servant-lass that dressed it hersell wi' the doup
o' a candle and a drudging-box. But I hae seen the day, Monkbarns, when the
town-council of Fairport wad hae as soon wanted their town-clerk, or their gill
of brandy ower-head after the haddies, as they wad hae wanted ilk ane a
weel-favoured, sonsy, decent periwig on his pow. Hegh, sirs! nae wonder the
commons will be discontent and rise against the law, when they see magistrates
and bailies, and deacons, and the provost himsell, wi' heads as bald and as bare
as ane o' my blocks!"
"And as well furnished within, Caxon. But away with you - you have an
excellent view of public affairs, and, I dare say, have touched the cause of our
popular discontent as closely as the provost could have done himself. But away
with you, Caxon."
And off went Caxon upon his walk of three miles- "He hobbled - but his heart
was good; Could he go faster than he could?"-
While he is engaged in his journey and return, it may not be impertinent to
inform the reader to whose mansion he was bearing his embassy.
We have said that Mr. Oldbuck kept little company with the surrounding
gentlemen, excepting with one person only. This was Sir Arthur Wardour, a
baronet of ancient descent, and of a large but embarrassed fortune. His father,
Sir Anthony, had been a Jacobite, and had displayed all the enthusiasm of that
party, while it could be served with words In other respects, Sir Arthur Wardour lived like most country gentlemen in
Scotland - hunted and fished - gave and received dinners - attended races and
county meetings - was a deputy-lieutenant and trustee upon turnpike acts. But,
in his more advanced years, as he became too lazy or unwieldy for field-sports,
he supplied them by now and then reading Scottish history; and, having gradually
acquired a taste for antiquities, though neither very deep nor very correct, he
became a crony of his neighbour, Mr. Oldbuck of Monkbarns, and a joint labourer
with him in his antiquarian pursuits.
There were, however, points of difference between these two humourists, which
sometimes occasioned discord. The faith of Sir Arthur, as an antiquary, was
boundless, and Mr. Oldbuck (notwithstanding the affair of the Praetorium at the
Kaim of Kinprunes) was much more scrupulous in receiving legends as current and
authentic coin. Sir Arthur would have deemed himself guilty of the crime of
leze- majesty had he doubted the existence of any single individual
of that formidable bead-roll of one hundred and four kings of Scotland, received
by Boethius, and rendered classical by Buchanan, in virtue of whom James VI.
claimed to rule his ancient kingdom, and whose portraits still frown grimly upon
the walls of the gallery of Holyrood. Now Oldbuck, a shrewd and suspicious man,
and no respecter of divine hereditary right, was apt to cavil at this sacred
list, and to affirm, that the procession of the posterity of Fergus through the
pages of Scottish history, was as vain and unsubstantial as the gleamy pageant
of the descendants of Banquo through the cavern of Hecate.
Another tender topic was the good fame of Queen Mary, of which the knight was
a most chivalrous assertor, while the esquire impugned it, in spite both of her
beauty and misfortunes. When, unhappily, their conversation turned on yet
later times, motives of discord occurred in almost every page of history.
Oldbuck was upon principle a staunch Presbyterian, a ruling elder of the Kirk,
and a friend to Revolution principles and Protestant succession, while Sir
Arthur was the very reverse of all this. They agreed, it is true, in dutiful
love and allegiance to the sovereign who now fills the throne, but this was
their only point of union. It therefore often happened that bickerings hot broke
out between them, in which Oldbuck was not always able to suppress his caustic
humour, while it would sometimes occur to the Baronet, that the descendant of a
German printer, whose sires had "sought the base fellowship of paltry burghers,"
forgot himself, and took an unlicensed freedom of debate, considering the rank
and ancient descent of his antagonist. This, with the old feud of the
coach-horses, and the seizure of his manor-place and tower of strength by/ Mr.
Oldbuck's father, would at times rush upon his mind, "But with the morning calm reflection came;" and as each was sensible that
the society of the other had become, through habit, essential to his comfort,
the breach was speedily made up between them. On such occasions, Oldbuck,
considering that the Baronet's pettishness resembled that of a child, usually
showed his superior sense by compassionately making the first advances to
reconciliation. But it once or twice happened, that the aristocratic pride of
the far-descended knight took a flight too offensive to the feelings of the
representative of the typographer. In these cases, the breach between these two
originals might have been immortal, but for the kind exertions and interposition of the Baronet's daughter, Miss Isabella Wardour, who, with a son, now
absent upon foreign and military service, formed his whole surviving family. She
was well aware how necessary Mr. Oldbuck was to her father's amusement and
comfort, and seldom failed to interpose with effect, when the office of a
mediator between them was rendered necessary, by the satirical shrewdness of the
one, or the assumed superiority of the other. Under Isabella's mild influence,
the wrongs of Queen Mary were forgotten by her father, and Mr. Oldbuck forgave
the blasphemy which reviled the memory of King William. However, as she used in
general to take her father's part playfully in these disputes, Oldbuck was wont
to call Isabella his fair enemy, There existed another connection betwixt these worthies, which had
alternately a repelling and attractive influence upon their intimacy. Sir Arthur
always wished to borrow; Mr. Oldbuck was not always willing to lend. Mr.
Oldbuck, per contra, always wished to be repaid with regularity; Sir Arthur was
not always, nor indeed often, prepared to gratify this reasonable desire; and,
in accomplishing an arrangement between tendencies so opposite, little miffs
would occasionally take place. Still there was a spirit of mutual
accommodation upon the whole, and they dragged on like dogs in couples, with
some difficulty and occasional snarling, but without absolutely coming to a
standstill or throttling each other.
Some little disagreement, such as we have mentioned, arising out of business,
or politics, had divided the houses of Knockwinnock and Monkbarns, when the
emissary of the latter arrived to discharge his errand. In his ancient Gothie
parlour, whose windows on one side looked out upon the restless ocean, and, on
the other, upon the long straight avenue, was the Baronet seated, now turning
over the leaves of a folio, now casting a weary glance where the sun quivered on
the dark-green foliage and smooth trunks of the large and branching limes, with
which the avenue was planted. At length, sight of joy! a moving object is seen,
and it gives rise to the usual inquiries, Who is it? and what can be his errand?
The old whitish grey coat, the hobbling gait, the hat, half-slouched,
half-cocked, announced the forlorn maker of periwigs, and left for investigation
only the second query. This was soon solved by a servant entering the parlour, -
"A letter from Monkbarns, Sir Arthur."
Sir Arthur took the epistle with a due assumption of consequential dignity.
"Take the old man into the kitchen, and let him get some refreshment," said
the young lady, whose compassionate eye had remarked his thin grey hair and
wearied gait.
"Mr. Oldbuck, my love, invites us to dinner on Tuesday the 17th," said the
Baronet, pausing; "he really seems to forget that he has not of late conducted
himself so civilly towards me as might have been expected."
"Dear sir, you have so many advantages over poor Mr. Oldbuck, that no wonder
it should put him a little out of humour; but I know he has much respect for
your person and your conversation; nothing would give him more pain than to be
wanting in any real attention."
"True, true, Isabella; and one must allow for the original descent: something
of the German boorishness still flows in the blood; something of the whiggish
and perverse opposition to established rank and privilege. You may observe
that he never has any advantage of me in dispute, unless when he avails himself
of a sort of pettifogging intimacy with dates, names, and trifling matters of
fact, a tiresome and frivolous accuracy of memory which is entirely owing to his
mechanical descent."
"He must find it convenient in historical investigation, I should think, sir?
said the young lady.
"It leads to an uncivil and positive mode of disputing; and nothing seems
more unreasonable than to hear him impugn even Bellenden's rare translation of
Hector Boece, which I have the satisfaction to possess, and which is a
black-letter folio of great value, upon the authority of some old scrap of
parchment which he has saved fro its deserved destiny of being cut up into
tailors' measures. And, besides, that habit of minute and troublesome accuracy
leads to a mercantile manner of doing business, which ought to be beneath a
landed proprietor, whose family has stood two or three generations - I question
if there's a dealer's clerk in "But you'll accept his invitation, sir?"
"Why, ye-yes; we have no other engagement on hand, I think. Who can the young
man be he talks of? he seldom picks up new acquaintance; and he has no relation
that I ever heard of."
"Probably some relation of his brother-in-law, Captain M'Intyre."
"Very possibly; yes, we will accept; the M'Intyres are of a very ancient
Highland family. You may answer his card in the affirmative, Isabella; I believe
I have no leisure to be Dear Sirring myself."
So this important matter being adjusted, Miss Wardour intimated "her own and
Sir Arthur's compliments, and that they would have the honour of waiting upon
Mr. Oldbuck. Miss Wardour takes this opportunity to renew her hostility with
Mr. Oldbuck, on account of his late long absence from Knockwinnock, where his
visits give so much pleasure." With this placebo she concluded her note, with
which old Caxon, now refreshed in limbs and wind, set out on his return to the
Antiquary's mansion.
Moth. By Woden, God of Saxons, Our young friend Lovel, who had received a corresponding invitation, punctual
to the hour of appointment, arrived at Monkbarns about five minutes before four
o'clock on the Mr. Oldbuck received him at the Palmer's Port in his complete brown suit,
grey silk stockings, and wig powdered with all the skill of the veteran Caxon,
who, having smelt out the dinner, had taken care not to finish his job till the
hour of eating approached.
"You are welcome to my symposion, Mr. Lovel; and now let me introduce you to
my Clogdogdo's, as Tom Otter calls them; my unlucky and good-for-nothing
womankind - malae bestiae, Mr. Lovel."
"I shall be disappointed,sir, if I do not find the ladies very undeserving of
your satire."
"Tilley-valley, Mr. Lovel, - which, by the way, one commentator derives
from tittivillitium, and another from talley- ho - but tilley-valley, I say, a
truce with your politeness. You will find them but samples of womankind - But
here they be, Mr. Lovel. I present to you, in due order, my most discreet sister
Griselda, who disdains the simplicity, as well as patience, annexed to the poor
old name of Grizzel; and my most exquisite niece Maria, whose mother was called
Mary, and sometimes Molly."
The elderly lady rustled in silks and satins, and bore upon her head a
structure resembling the fashion in the ladies' memorandum-book for the year
1770 - a superb piece of architecture - not much less than a modern Gothic
castle, of which the curls might represent the turrets, the black pins the
chevaux de frize, and the lappets the banners.
The face, which, like that of the ancient statues of Vesta, was thus crowned
with towers was large and long, and peaked at nose and chin, and bore, in other
respects, such a ludicrous resemblance to the physiognomy of Mr. Jonathan
Oldbuck, that Lovel, had they not appeared at once, like Sebastian Her niece, the same whom Lovel had seen transiently during his first visit,
was a pretty young woman, genteelly dressed according to the fashion of the day,
with an air of espieglerie which became her very well, and which was perhaps
derived from the caustic humour peculiar to her uncle's family, though softened
by transmission.
Mr. Lovel paid his respects to both ladies, and was answered by the elder
with the prolonged curtsey of 1760, drawn from the righteous period, When folks
conceived a grace Of half an hour's space, And rejoiced in a Friday's capon, and
by the younger with a modern reverence, which, like the festive benediction of a
modern divine, was of much shorter duration.
While this salutation was exchanging, Sir Arthur, with his fair daughter
hanging upon his arm, having dismissed his chariot, appeared at the garden door,
and in all due form paid his respects to the ladies. "Sir Arthur," said the Antiquary, "and you, my fair foe, let me make known to
you my young friend Mr. Lovel, a gentleman who, during the scarlet-fever which
is epidemic at present in this our island, has the virtue and decency to appear
in a coat of a civil complexion.. You see, however, that the fashionable colour
has mustered in his cheeks which appears not in his garments. Sir Arthur, let me
present to you a young gentleman, whom your farther knowledge will find grave,
wise, courtly, and scholar-like, well seen, deeply read, and thoroughly
grounded, in all the hidden mysteries of the green-room and stage, from the days
of Davie Lindsay down to those of Dibdin - he blushes again, which is a sign of
grace."
"My brother," said Miss Griselda, addressing Lovel, "has a humorous way of
expressing himself, sir; nobody thinks anything of what Monkbarns says - so I
beg you will not be so confused for the matter of his nonsence; but you must
have had a warm walk beneath this broiling sun - would you take onything? - a
glass of balm wine?"
Ere Lovel could answer, the Antiquary interposed. "Aroint thee, witch!
wouldst thou poison my guests with thy infernal decoctions? Dost thou not
remember how it fared with the clergyman whom you seduced to partake of that
deceitful beverage?"
"Oh fy, Fy, brother - Sir Arthur, did you ever hear the like! - he must have
everything his ain way, or he will invent such stories - But there goes Jenny to
ring the old bell to tell us that the dinner is ready."
Rigid in his economy, Mr. Oldbuck kept no male-servant. This he disguised
under the pretext that the masculine sex was too noble to be employed in those
acts of personal servitude, which, in all early periods of society, were
uniformly imposed on the female. "Why," would he say, "did the boy, Tam
Rintherout, whom, at my wise sister's instigation, I, with equal
wisdom, took upon trial - why did he pilfer apples, take birds' nests, break
glasses, and ultimately steal my spectacles, except that he felt that noble
emulation which swells in the bosom of the masculine sex, which has conducted
him to Flanders with a musket on his shoulder, and doubtless will promote him to
a glorious halbert, or even to the gallows? And why does this girl, his full
sister, Jenny Rintherout, move in the same vocation with safe and noiseless
step - shod, or unshod - soft as the pace of a cat, and docile as a spaniel -
Why? but because she is in her vocation. Let them minister to us, Sir Arthur, -
let them minister, I say, - it's the only thing they are fit for. All ancient
legislators, from Lycurgus to Mahommed, corruptly called Mahomet, agree in
putting them in their proper and subordinate rank, and it is only the crazy
heads of our old chivalrous ancestors that erected their Dulcineas into despotic
princesses."
Miss Wardour protested loudly against this ungallant doctrine; but the bell
now rung for dinner.
"Let me do all the offices of fair courtesy to so fair an antagonist," said
the old gentleman, offering his arm. "I remember, Miss Wardour, Mahommed
(vulgarly Mahomet) had some hesitation about the mode of summoning his Moslemah
to prayer. He rejected bells as used by Christians, trumpets as the summons of
the Guebres, and finally adopted the human voice. I have had equal doubt concerning my dinner-call. Gongs, now in present use, seemed a new-fangled and
heathenish invention, and the voice of the female womankind I rejected as
equally shrill and dissonant; wherefore, contrary to the said Mahommed, or
Mahomet, I have resumed the bell. It has a local propriety, since it was the
conventual signal for spreading the repast in their refectory, and it has the
advantage over the tongue of my sister's prime minister, Jenny, that, though not
quite so loud and shrill, it ceases ringing the instant you drop the bell-rope;
With this discourse he led the way to his dining- parlour, which Lovel had
not yet seen; it was wainscoted, and contained some curious paintings. The
dining-table was attended by Jenny; but an old superintendent, a sort of female
butler, stood by the sideboard, and underwent the burden of bearing several
reproofs from Mr. Oldbuck, and innuendoes, not so much marked, but not less
cutting, from his sister.
The dinner was such as suited a professed antiquary, comprehending many
savoury specimens of Scottish viands, now disused at the tables of those who
affect elegance. There was the relishing solan goose, whose smell is so powerful
that he is never cooked within doors. Blood-raw he proved to be on this
occasion, so that Oldbuck half- threatened to throw the greasy sea-fowl at the
head of the negligent housekeeper, who acted as priestess in presenting this
odoriferous offering. But, by good-hap, she had been most fortunate in the
hotch-potch, which was unanimously pronounced to be inimitable. "I knew we
should succeed here," said Oldbuck exultingly, "for Davie Dibble, the gardener
(an old bachelor like myself), takes care the rascally women do not dishonour
our vegetables. And here is fish and sauce, and crappit-heads - I acknowledge
our womankind excel in that dish - it procures them the pleasure of scolding,
for half an hour at least, twice a week, with auld Maggy Mucklebackit, our
fish-wife. The chicken-pie, Mr. Lovel, is made after a recipe bequeathed to me
by my departed grandmother of happy memory - And if you will venture on a glass
of wine, you will find it worthy of one who professes the maxim of King Alphonso
of Castile - Old wood to burn - old books to read - old wine to drink - and "And what news do you bring us from Edinburgh, Monkbarns?" said Sir Arthur;
"how wags the world in Auld Reekie?"
"Mad, Sir Arthur, mad - irretrievably frantic - far beyond dipping in the
sea, shaving the crown, or drinking hellebore. The worst sort of frenzy, a
military frenzy, hath possessed man, woman, and child."
"And high time, I think," said Miss Wardour, "when we are threatened with
invasion from abroad, and insurrection at home."
"Oh, I did not doubt you would join the scarlet host against me - women, like
turkeys, are always subdued by a red rag - But what says Sir Arthur, whose
dreams are of standing armies and German oppression?"
"Why, I say, Mr. Oldbuck," replied the knight, "that so far as I am capable
of judging, we ought to resist cum toto corpore regni, - as the phrase is,
unless I have altogether forgotten my Latin - an enemy who comes to propose to
us a Whiggish sort of government, a republican system, and who is aided and
abetted by a sort of fanatics of the worst kind in our own bowels. I have taken
some measures, I assure you, such as become my rank in the community; for I have
directed the constables to take up that old scoundrelly beggar, Edie Ochiltree,
for spreading disaffection against Church and State through the whole parish. He
said plainly to old Caxon, that Willie Howie's Kilmarnock cowl covered more
sense than all the three wigs in the parish - I think it is easy to make out
that innuendo - But the rogue shall be taught better manners."
"Oh, no, my dear sir," exclaimed Miss Wardour, "not old Edie, that we have
known so long - I assure you no constable shall have my good graces that
executes such a warrant."
"Ay, there it goes," said the Antiquary; "you, to be a "And yet, with all my courage, Mr. Oldbuck, I am glad to hear our people are
getting under arms."
"Under arms, Lord love thee! didst thou ever read the history of Sister
Margaret, which flowed from a head, that, though now old and somedele grey, has
more sense and political intelligence than you find now-a-days in a whole synod?
Dost thou remember the Nurse's dream in that exquisite work, which she recounts
in such agony to Hubble Bubble? - When she would have taken up a piece of broad
cloth in her vision, lo! it exploded like a great iron cannon; when she put out
her hand to save a pirn, it perked up in her face in the form of a pistol. My
own vision in Edinburgh has been something similar. I called to consult my
lawyer; he was clothed in a dragoon's dress, belted and casqued, and about to
mount a charger, which his writing- clerk (habited as a sharpshooter) walked to
and fro before his door - I went to scold my agent for having sent me to advise
with a madman; he had stuck into his head the plume, which in more sober days he
wielded between his fingers, and figured as an artillery-officer. My mercer had
his spontoon in his hand, as if he measured his cloth by that implement,
instead of a legitimate yard. The banker's clerk, who was directed to sum my
cash account, blundered it three times, being disordered by the recollection of
his military tellings-off at the morning drill. I was ill, and sent for a
surgeon - He came - but valour so had fired his eye, And such a falchion
glitter'd on his thigh, That, by the gods, with such a load of steel, I thought
he came to murder, - not to heal" "Dear brother, dinna speak that gate o' the gentlemen volunteers - I am sure
they have a most becoming uniform - Weel I wot they have been wet to the very
skin twice last week - I met them marching in terribly doukit, an mony a sair
hoast was amang them - And the trouble they take, I am sure it claims our
gratitude."
"And I am sure," said Miss M'Intyre, "that my uncle sent twenty guineas to
help out their equipments."
"It was to buy liquorice and sugar-candy," said the cynic, "to encourage the
trade of the place, and to refresh the throats of the officers who had bawled
themselves hoarse in the service of their country."
"Take care, Monkbarns! we shall set you down among the black-nebs by and by."
"No, Sir Arthur, a tame grumbler I. I only claim the privilege of croaking in
my own corner here, without uniting my throat to the grand chorus of the marsh -
Ni quito Rey, ni pongo Rey - I neither make king nor mar king, as Sancho says,
but pray heartily for our own sovereign, pay scot and lot, and grumble at the
exciseman - But here comes the ewe-milk cheese in good time; it is a better
digestive than politics."
When dinner was over, and the decanters placed on the table, Mr. Oldbuck
proposed the King's health in a bumper, which was readily acceded to both by
Lovel and the Baronet, After the ladies had left the apartment, the landlord and Sir Arthur entered
into several exquisite discussions, in which the younger guest, either on account
of the abstruse erudition which they involved, or for some other reason, took
but a slender share, till at length he was suddenly started out of a profound
reverie by an unexpected appeal to his judgement.
"I will stand by what Mr. Lovel says; he was born in the north of England,
and may know the very spot."
Sir Arthur thought it unlikely that so young a gentleman should have paid
much attention to matters of that sort.
"I am avised of the contrary," said Oldbuck. - "How say you, Mr. Lovel? -
speak up, for your own credit, man."
Lovel was obliged to confess himself in the ridiculous situation of one,
alike ignorant of the subject of conversation and controversy which had engaged
the company for an hour.
"Lord help the lad, his head has been wool-gathering!- I thought how it would
be when the womankind were admitted - no getting a word of sense out of a young
fellow for six hours after. Why, man, there was once a people called the Piks-"
"More properly Picts," interrupted the Baronet.
"I say the Pikar, Pihar, Piochtar, Piaghter or Peughtar," vociferated
Oldbuck; "they spoke a Gothic dialect -"
"Genuine Celtic," again asseverated the knight.
"Gothic! Gothic, I'll go to death upon it!" counter- asseverated the squire.
"Why gentlemen," said Lovel, "I conceive that is a dispute which may be
easily settled by philologists, if there are any remains of the language."
"There is but one word," said the Baronet, "but, in "Yes, in my favour," said Oldbuck: "Mr. Lovel, you shall be judge - I have
the learned Pinkerton on my side."
"I, on mine, the indefatigable and erudite Chalmers."
"Gordon comes into my opinion."
"Sir Robert Sibbald holds mine."
"Innes is with me!" vociferated Oldbuck.
"Ritson has no doubt!" shouted the Baronet.
"Truly, gentlemen," said Love, "before you muster your forces and overwhelm
me with authorities, I should like to know the word in dispute."
"Benval," said both the disputants at once.
"Which signifies caput valli," said Sir Arthur.
"The head of the wall," echoed Oldbuck.
There was a deep pause. - "It is rather a narrow foundation to build a
hypothesis upon," observed the arbiter.
"Not a whit, not a whit," said Oldbuck; "men fight best in a narrow ring - an
inch is as good as a mile for a home-thrust."
"It is decidedly Celtic," said the Baronet; "every hill in the highlands
begins with Ben."
"But what say you to Val, Sir Arthur - is it not decidedly the Saxon wall?"
"It is the Roman Vallum," said Sir Arthur; "the Picts borrowed that part of
the word."
"No such thing; if they borrowed anything, it must have been your Ben, which
they might have from the neighbouring Britons of Strath Cluyd."
"The Piks, or Picts," said Lovel, "must have been singularly poor in dialect,
since, in the only remaining word of their vocabulary, and that consisting only
of two syllables, they have been confessedly obliged to borrow one of them from
another language; and, methinks, gentlemen, with submission, the controversy
is not unlike that which the two knights fought, concerning the shield that had
one side white and the other black. Each of you claim one-half of the word, and
seem to resign the other. But what strikes me most, is the poverty of the
language which has left such slight vestiges behind it."
"You are in an error," said Sir Arthur; "it was a copious language, and they
were a great and powerful people - built two steeples; one at Brechin, one at
Abernethy. The Pictish maidens of the blood-royal were kept in Edinburgh Castle,
thence called Castrum Puellarum."
"A childish legend," said Oldbuck, "invented to give consequence to trumpery
womankind. It was called the Maiden Castle, quasi lucus a non lucendo, because
it resisted every attack, and women never do."
"There is a list of the Pictish kings," persisted Sir Arthur, "well
authenticated, from Crentheminachcryme (the date of whose reign is somewhat
uncertain) down to Drusterstone, whose death concluded their dynasty. Half of
them have the Celtic patronymic Mac prefixed - Mac, id est filius - what do you
say to that, Mr. Oldbuck? There is Drust Macmorachin, Trynel Maclachlin (first
of that ancient clan, as it may be judged), and Gormach Macdonald, Alpin Macmetegus, Drust Mactallargam (here he was interrupted by a fit of coughing), ugh,
ugh, ugh - Golarge Macchan - ugh, ugh - Macchanan - ugh - Macchananail - Kenneth
- ugh, - ugh - Macferedith, Eachan Macfungus - and twenty more, decidedly Celtic
names, which I could repeat, if this damned cough would let me."
"Take a glass of wine, Sir Arthur, and drink down that bead-roll of
unbaptized jargon, that would choke the devil - why, that last fellow has the
only intelligible name you have repeated - they are all of the tribe of
Macfungus - mushroom monarchs every one of them; sprung up from "I am surprised to hear you, Mr. Oldbuck; you know, or ought to know, that
the list of these potentates was copied, by Henry Maule of Melgum, from the
Chronicles of Loch Leven and Saint Andrews, and put forth by him in his short
but satisfactory history of the Picts, printed by Robert Freebairn of Edinburgh,
and sold by him at his shop in the Parliament Close, in the year of God seventeen hundred and five, or six, I am not precisely certain which - but I have a
copy at home that stands next to my twelvemo copy of the Scots Acts, and ranges
on the shelf with them very well - What say you to that, Mr. Oldbuck?"
"Say? Why, I laugh at Harry Maule and his history," answered Oldbuck, "and
thereby comply with his request, of giving it entertainment according to its
merits."
"Do not laugh at a better man than yourself," said Sir Arthur, somewhat
scornfully.
"I do not conceive I do, Sir Arthur, in laughing either at him or his
history."
"Henry Maule of Melgum was a gentleman, Mr. Oldbuck."
"I presume he had no advantage of me in that particular," replied the
Antiquary, somewhat tartly.
"Permit me, Mr. Oldbuck - he was a gentleman of high family, and ancient
descent, and therefore - "
"The descendant of a Westphalian printer should speak of him with deference?
s Such may be your opinion, Sir Arthur - it is not mine. I conceive that my
descent from that painful and industrious typographer, Wolfbrand Oldenbuck,
who, in the month of December, l493, under the patronage, as the colophon tells
us, of Sebaldus Scheyter and Sebastian Kammermaister, accomplished the printing
"If you mean the observation as a sneer at my ancestry," said the knight,
with an assumption of dignified superiority and composure, "I have the pleasure
to inform you, that the name of my ancestor, Gamelyn de Guardover, Miles, is
written fairly with his own hand in the earliest copy of the Ragman-roll."
"Which only serves to show that he was one of the earliest who set the mean
example of submitting to Edward I. What have you to say for the stainless
loyalty of your family, Sir Arthur, after such a backsliding as that?"
"It's enough, sir," said Sir Arthur, starting up fiercely, and pushing back
his chair, "I shall hereafter take care how I honour with my company, one who
shows himself so ungrateful for my condescension."
"In that you will do as you find most agreeable, Sir Arthur; I hope, that, as
I was not aware of the extent of the obligation which you have done me, by
visiting my poor house, I may be excused for not having carried my gratitude to
the extent of servility."
"Mighty well - mighty well, Mr. Oldbuck - I wish you a good evening - Mr. a -
a- a- Shovel - I wish you a very good evening."
Out of the parlour door flounced the incensed Sir Arthur, as if the spirit of
the whole Round Table inflamed his single bosom, and traversed with long strides
the labyrinth of passages which conducted to the drawing-room.
"Did you ever hear such an old tup-headed ass?" said So saying, he pushed off after the retreating Baronet, whom he traced by the
clang of several doors which he opened in search of the apartment for tea, and
slammed with force behind him at every disappointment. "You'll do yourself a
mischief," roared the Antiquary; "Qui ambulat in tenebris, nescit quo vadit -
You'll tumble down the backstair."
Sit Arthur had now got involved in darkness, of which the sedative effect is
well known to nurses and governesses who have to deal with pettish children. It
retarded the pace of the irritated Baronet, if it did not abate his resentment, and Mr. Oldbuck, better acquainted with the locale, got up with him as he
had got his grasp upon the handle of the drawing-room door.
"Stay a minute, Sir Arthur," said Oldbuck, opposing his abrupt entrance;
"don't be quite so hasty, my good old friend - I was a little too rude with you
about Sir Gamelyn - why, he is an old acquaintance of mine, man, and a favourite
- he kept company with Bruce and Wallace - and, I'll be sworn on a black-letter
Bible, only subscribed the Ragman-roll with the legitimate and justifiable
intention of circumventing the false Southern - t'was right Scottish craft, my
good knight - hundreds did it - come, come, forget and forgive - confess we have
given the young fellow here a right to think us two testy old fools."
"Speak for yourself, Mr. Jonathan Oldbuck," said Sir Arthur, with much
majesty.
"A-well, a-well - a wilful man must have his way."
With that the door opened, and into the drawing-room marched the tall gaunt
form of Sir Arthur, followed by Lovel and Mr. Oldbuck, the countenances of all
three a little discomposed. "I have been waiting for you, sir," said Miss Wardour, "to propose we should
walk forward to meet the carriage, as the evening is so fine."
Sir Arthur readily assented to this proposal, which suited the angry mood in
which he found himself; and having, agreeably to the established custom in cases
of pet, refused the refreshment of tea and coffee, he tucked his daughter under
his arm; and, after taking a ceremonious leave of the ladies, and a very dry one
of Oldbuck - off he marched.
"I think Sir Arthur has got the black dog on his back again," said Miss
Oldbuck.
"Black dog! - black devil! - he's more absurd than womankind - What say you,
Lovel? - Why, the lad's gone too."
"He took his leave, uncle, while Miss Wardour was putting on her things;
but I don't think you observed him."
"The devil's in the people! This is all one gets by fussing and bustling, and
putting one's self out of one's way in order to give dinners, besides all the
charges they are put to. - O Seged, Emperor of Ethiopia!" said he, taking up a
cup of tea in the one hand, and a volume of the Rambler in the other, - for it
was his regular custom to read while he was eating or drinking in presence of
his sister, being a practice which served at once to evince his contempt for the
society of womankind, and his resolution to lose no moment of instruction, - "O
Seged, Emperor of Ethiopia! well hast thou spoken - No man should presume to
say, this shall be a day of happiness."
Oldbuck proceeded in his studies for the best part of an hour, uninterrupted
by the ladies, who each, in profound silence, pursued some female employment. At
length, a light and modest tap was heard at the parlour door. "Is that you,
Caxon? - come in, come in, man."
The old man opened the door, and thrusting in his "Come in then, you old fool, and say what you have got to say."
"I'll maybe frighten the ladies," said the ex-friseur.
"Frighten!" answered the Antiquary, "What do you mean? - never mind the
ladies. Have you seen another ghaist at the Humlock-know?"
"Na, sir; it's no a ghaist this turn," replied Caxon - "but I'm no easy in my
mind."
"Did you ever hear of anybody that was?" answered Oldbuck; "what reason has
an old battered powder-puff like you to be easy in your mind, more than all the
rest of the world besides?"
"It's no for mysell, sir; but it threatens an awfu' night; and Sir Arthur,
and Miss Wardour, poor thing -"
"Why, man, they must have met the carriage at the head of the loaning, or
thereabouts; they must be home long ago."
"Na, sir; they didna gang the road by the turnpike to meet the carriage, they
gaed by the sands."
The word operated like electricity on Oldbuck. "The sands!" he exclaimed;
"impossible!"
"Ou, sir, that's what I said to the gardener; but he says he saw them turn
down by the Mussel Craig - in troth, says I to him, an that be the case, Davie,
I am misdoubting - "
"An almanack! an almanack!" said Oldbuck, starting up in great alarm - "not
that bauble!" flinging away a little pocket almanack which his niece offered him
- "Great God! my poor dear Miss Isabella!- Fetch me instantly the Fairport
Almanack." - It was brought, consulted, and added greatly to his agitation.
"I'll go myself - call the gardener and ploughman - bid them bring ropes and
ladders - bid them raise more help as they come along - keep the top
of the cliffs, and halloo down to them - I'll go myself."
"What is the matter? inquired Miss Oldbuck and Miss M'Intyre.
"The tide! - the tide!" answered the alarmed Antiquary.
"Had not Jenny better - but no, I'll run myself," said the younger lady,
partaking in all her uncle's terrors - "I'll run myself to Saunders
Mucklebackit, and make him get out his boat."
"Thank you, my dear, that's the wisest word that has been spoken yet - run!
run! To go by the sands!" seizing his hat and cane; "was there ever such madness
heard of! #
Pleased awhile to view The information of Davie Dibble, which had spread such general alarm
at Monkbarns, proved to be strictly correct. Sir Arthur and his daughter had set
out, according to their first proposal, to return to Knockwinnock by the
turnpike road; but, when they reached the head of the loaning, as it was called,
or great lane, which on one side made a sort of avenue to the house of
Monkbarns, they discerned a little way before them, Lovel, who seemed to linger
on the way as if to give him an opportunity to join them. Miss Wardour
immediately proposed to her father that they should take another direction; and,
as the weather was Sir Arthur acquiesced willingly. It would be unpleasant he said,to be
joined by that young fellow, whom Mr. Oldbuck had taken the freedom to introduce
them to And his old-fashioned politeness had none of the ease of the present
day, which permits you, if you have a mind, to cut the person you have
associated with for a week, the instant you feel or suppose yourself in a
situation which makes it disagreeable to own him. Sir Arthur only stipulated,
that a little ragged boy, for the guerdon of one penny sterling, should run to
meet his coachman, and turn his equipage back to Knockwinnock.
When this was arranged, and the emissary despatched, the knight and his
daughter left the highroad, and, following a wandering path among sandy
hillocks, partly grown over with furze and the long grass called bent, soon
attained the side of the ocean. The tide was by no means so far out as they had
computed; but this gave them no alarm; there were seldom ten days in the year
when it approached so near the cliffs as not to leave a dry passage. But,
nevertheless, at periods of spring-tide, or even when the ordinary flood was
accelerated by high winds, this road was altogether covered by the sea; and
tradition had recorded several fatal accidents which had happened on such occasions. Still, such dangers were considered as remote and improbable; and rather
served, with other legends, to amuse the hamlet fireside, than to prevent any
one from going between Knockwinnock and Monkbarns by the sands.
As Sir Arthur and Miss Wardour paced along, enjoying the pleasant footing
afforded by the cool moist hard sand, Miss Wardour could not help observing,
that the last tide With a mind employed in admiration of the romantic scene, or perhaps on some
more agitating topic, Miss Wardour advanced in silence by her father's side,
whose recently offended dignity did not stoop to open any conversation.
Following the windings of the beach, they passed one projecting point or
headland of rock after another, and now found themselves under a huge and
continued extent of the precipices by which that ironbound coast is in most
places defended. Long projecting reefs of rock, extending under water, and only
evincing their existence by here and there a peak entirely bare, or by the
breakers which foamed over those partially covered, rendered Knockwinnock Bay
dreaded by pilots and ship-masters. The crags which rose between the beach and
the mainland, to the height of two or three hundred feet, afforded in their Appalled by this sudden change of weather, Miss Wardour drew close to her
father, and held his arm fast "I wish," at length she said, but almost in a
whisper, as if ashamed to express her increasing apprehensions, "I wish we had
kept the road we intended, or waited at Monkbarns for the carriage."
Sir Arthur looked round, but did not see, or would not acknowledge, any signs
of a immediate storm. They would reach Knockwinnock, he said, long before the
tempest began. But the speed with which he walked, and with which Isabella could
hardly keep pace, indicated a feeling that some exertion was necessary to
accomplish his consolatory prediction.
They were now near the centre of a deep but narrow bay, or recess, formed by
two projecting capes of high and inaccessible rock, which shot out into the
sea like the horns of a crescent; and neither durst communicate the apprehension which each began to entertain, that, from the unusually As they thus pressed forward longing doubtless to exchange the easy
curving line, which sinuosities of the bay compelled them to adopt, for a
straighter and more expeditious path, though less conformable to the line of
beauty, Sir Arthur observed a human figure on the beach advancing to meet them.
"Thank God," he exclaimed, "we shall get round Halket Head! that person must
have passed it;" thus giving vent to the feeling of hope, though he had
suppressed that of apprehension.
"Thank God, indeed!" echoed his daughter, half audibly, half internally, as
expressing the gratitude which she strongly felt.
The figure which advanced to meet them made many signs, which the haze of the
atmosphere, now disturbed by wind and by a drizzling rain, prevented them from
seeing or comprehending distinctly. Some time before they met, Sir Arthur could
recognise the old blue-gowned beggar, Edie Ochiltree. It is said tat even the
brute creation lay aside their animosities and antipathies when pressed by an
instant and common danger. The beach under Halket Head, rapidly diminishing in
extent by the encroachments of a spring-tide and a northwest wind, was in like
manner a neutral field, where even a justice of peace and a strolling mendicant
might meet upon terms of mutual forbearance.
"Turn back! turn back!" exclaimed the vagrant; "why did ye not turn when I
waved to you?"
"We thought," replied Sir Arthur, in great agitation, "we thought we could
get round Halket Head."
"Halket Head! the tide will be running on Halket Head, by this time, like the
Fall of Fyers! It was a' I could do to get round it twenty minutes
since - it was coming in three feet abreast. We will maybe get back by
Ballyburgh Ness Point yet. The Lord help us, it's our only chance. We can but
try."
"My God, my child!" - "My father, my dear father!" exclaimed the parent and
daughter, as, fear lending them strength and speed, they turned to retrace their
steps, and endeavoured to double the point, the projection of which formed the
southern extremity of the bay.
"I heard ye were here, frae the bit callant ye sent to meet your carriage,"
said the beggar, as he trudged stoutly on a step on two behind Miss Wardour,
"and I couldna bide to think o' the dainty young leddy's peril, that has aye
been kind to ilka forlorn heart that cam near her. Sae I lookit at the lift and
the rin o' the tide, till I settled it that if I could get down time eneugh to
gie you warning, we wad do weel yet. But I doubt, I doubt, I have been beguiled!
for what mortal ee ever saw sic a race as the tide is rinning e'en now? See,
yonder's the Ratton's Skerry - he aye held his neb abune the water in my day -
but he's aneath it now."
Sir Arthur cast a look in the direction in which the old man pointed. A huge
rock, which in general, even in spring-tides, displayed a hulk like the keel of
a large vessel, was now quite under water, and its place only indicated by the
boiling and breaking of the eddying waves which encountered its submarine
resistance.
"Mak haste, mak haste, my bonny leddy," continued the old man, "mak haste,
and we may do yet! Take haud o' my arm - an auld and frail arm it's now, but
it's been in as sair stress as this is yet. Take haud o' my arm, my winsome
leddy! D'ye see yon wee black speck amang the wallowing waves yonder? This
morning it was as high as the mast o' a brig - it's sma' eneugh now - but, while
I see as muckle black about it as the crown o' my hat, I winna believe but Isabella, in silence, accepted from the old man the assistance which Sir
Arthur was less able to afford her. The waves had now encroached so much upon
the beach, that the firm and smooth footing which they had hitherto had on the
sand must be exchanged for a rougher path close to the foot of the precipice,
and in some places even raised upon its lower ledges. It would have been utterly
impossible for Sir Arthur Wardour, or his daughter, to have found their way
along these shelves without the guidance and encouragement of the beggar, who
had been there before in high tides, though never, he acknowledged, "in sae
awsome a night as this."
It was indeed a dreadful evening. The howling of the storm mingled with the
shrieks of the sea-fowl, and sounded like the dirge of the three devoted beings,
who, pent between two of the most magnificent, yet most dreadful objects of
nature - a raging tide and an insurmountable precipice - toiled along their
painful and dangerous path, often lashed by the spray of some giant billow,
which threw itself higher on the beach than those that had preceded it. Each
minute did their enemy gain ground perceptibly upon them! Still, however, loath
to relinquish the last hopes of life, they bent their eyes on the black rock
pointed out by Ochiltree. It was yet distinctly visible among the breakers, and
continued to be so, until they came to a turn in their precarious path, where an
intervening projection of rock hid it from their sight. Deprived of the view of
the beacon on which they had relied, they now experienced the double agony of
terror and suspense. They struggled forward, however; but, when they arrived at
the point from which they ought to have seen the crag, it was no longer visible.
The signal of safety was lost among a thousand white breakers, which, dashing
upon The countenance of the old man fell. Isabella gave a faint shriek, and, "God
have mercy upon us!" which her guide solemnly uttered, was piteously echoed by
Sir Arthur - "My child! my child! - to die such a death!"
"My father! my dear father!" his daughter exclaimed, clinging to him, - "and
you too, who have lost your own life in endeavouring to save ours!"
"That's not worth the counting," said the old man. "I hae lived to be weary
o' life; and here or yonder - at the back o' a dyke, in a wreath o' snaw, or in
the wame o' a wave, what signifies how the auld gaberlunzie dies?
"Good man," said Sir Arthur, "can you think of nothing? - of no help? - I'll
make you rich - I'll give you a farm - I'll - "
"Our riches will soon be equal," said the beggar, looking out upon the strife
of the waters - "they are sae already; for I hae nae land, and you would give
your fair bounds and barony for a square yard of rock that would be dry for twal
hours."
While they exchanged these words, they paused upon the highest ledge of rock
to which they could attain; for it seemed that any further attempt to move
forward could only serve to anticipate their fate. Here, then, they were to
await the sure though slow progress of the raging element, something in the
situation of the martyrs of the early church, who, exposed by heathen tyrants to
be slain by wild beasts, were compelled for a time to witness the impatience and
rage by which the animals were agitated, while awaiting the signal for undoing
their grates, and letting them loose upon the victims.
Yet even this fearful pause gave Isabella time to collect Sir Arthur, who heard, but scarcely comprehended, his daughter's question,
turned, nevertheless, instinctively and eagerly to the old man, as if their
lives were in his gift. Ochiltree paused. "I was a bauld craigsman," he said,
"ance in my life, and mony a kittywake's and lungie's nest hae I harried up
amang thae very black rocks; but it's Lang, Lang syne, and nae mortal could
speel them without a rope
- and if I had ane, my ee-sight, and my foot-step, and my hand-grip, hae a'
failed mony a day sinsyne - and then how could I save you?- But there was a path
here ance, though maybe, if we could see it, ye would rather bide where we are -
His name be praised!" he ejaculated suddenly, "there's ane coming down the crag
e'en now!" - Then, exalting his voice he hilloa'd out to the daring adventurer
such instructions as his former practice, and the remembrance of local
circumstances suddenly forced upon his mind: - Ye're right - ye're right! - that
gate, that gate! - fasten the rope weel round Crummie's Horn, that's the muckle
black stane - cast twa plies round it that's it ! - now, weize yoursell a wee
easel-ward - a wee mair yet to that ither stane - we ca'd it the Cat's Lug -
there used to be the root o' an aik-tree there - that will do! - canny now, lad
- canny now - tak tent and tak time - Lord bless ye, tak time. - Vera weel! -
Now ye maun get to Bessy's Apron, that's the muckle braid flat blue stane - and
then, I thin, wi' your help and the tow thegither, I'll wind at ye, and then
we'll be able to get up the young leddy and Sir Arthur."
The adventurer, following the directions of old Edie, flung him down the end
of the rope, which he secured around Miss Wardour, wrapping her previously in
his own blue gown to preserve her as much as possible from injury. Then,
availing himself of the rope, which was made fast at the other end, he began to
ascend the face of the crag - a most precarious and dizzy undertaking, which,
however, after one or two perilous escapes, placed him safe on the broad flat
stone beside our friend Lovel. Their joint strength was able to raise Isabella
to the place of safety which they had attained. Lovel then descended in order to
assist Sir Arthur, around whom he adjusted the rope; and again mounting to their
place of refuge, with the assistance of old Ochiltree, and such aid as Sir
Arthur himself could afford, he raised himself beyond the reach of the billows.
The sense of reprieve from approaching and apparently inevitable death had
its usual effect. The father and daughter threw themselves into each other's
arms, kissed and wept for joy, although their escape was connected with the
prospect of passing a tempestuous night upon a precipitous ledge of rock,
which scarce afforded footing for the four shivering beings, who now, like the
sea-fowl around them, clung there in hopes of some shelter from the devouring
element which raged beneath. The spray of the billows, which attained in fearful
succession the foot of the precipice, overflowing the beach on which they so
lately stood, flew as high as their place of temporary rfuge; and the stunning
sound with which they dashed against the rocks beneath, seemed as if they still
demanded the fugitives in accents of thunder as their destined prey. It was a
summer night doubtless; yet the probability was slender, that a frame so
delicate as that of Miss Wardour should survive till morning the drenching of
the spray; and the dashing of the rain, which now burst in full violence,
accompanied "The lassie - the puir sweet lassie," said the old man; "mony such a night
have I weathered at hame and abroad, but, God guide us, how can she ever win
through it!"
His apprehension was communicated in smothered accents to Lovel; for, with
the sort of freemasonry by which bold and ready spirits correspond in moments of
danger and become almost instinctively known to each other, they had established
a mutual confidence. - "I'll climb up the cliff again," said Lovel, "there's
daylight enough left to see my footing; I'll climb up and call for more
assistance."
Do so, do so, for heaven's sake!" said Sir Arthur eagerly.
Are ye mad?" said the mendicant; "Francie o' Fowlsheugh and he was the best
craigsman that ever speel'd heugh (mair by token, he brake his neck upon the
Dunbuy of Slaines), wadna hae ventured upon the Halket Head craigs after
sun-down - It's God's grace, and a great wonder besides that ye are not in the
middle o' that roaring sea wi' what ye hae done already - I didna think there
was the man left alive would hae come down the craigs as ye did. I question an I
could hae done it mysell, at this hour and in this weather, in the youngest and
yaldest of my strength - But to venture up again - it's a mere and a clear
tempting o' Providence."
"I have no fear," answered Lovel; "I marked all the stations perfectly as I
came down, and there is still light enough left to see them quite well - I am
sure I can do it with perfect safety. Stay here, my good friend, by Sir Arthur
and the young lady."
"Deil be in my feet then," answered the bedesman sturdily; "if ye gang, I'll
gang too; for between the twa "No, no - stay you here and attend to Miss Wardour - you see Sir Arthur is
quite exhausted."
"Stay yoursell then, and I'll gae," said the old man; "let death spare the
green corn and take the ripe."
"Stay both of you, I charge you," said Isabella faintly, "I am well, and can
spend the night very well here - I feel quite refreshed." So saying, her voice
failed her - she sunk down, and would have fallen from the crag, had she not
been supported by Lovel and Ochiltree, who placed her in a posture half-sitting,
half-reclining, beside her father, who, exhausted by fatigue of body and mind so
extreme and unusual, had already sat down on a stone in a sort of stupor.
"It is impossible to leave them," said Lovel - "What is to be done? - Hark!
Hark! - Did I not hear a halloo?"
The skreigh of a Tammie Norie," answered Ochiltree, "I ken the skirl weel."
"No, by heaven," replied Lovel, "it was a human voice."
A distant hail was repeated, the sound plainly distinguishable among the
various elemental noises, and the clang of the sea-mews by which they were
surrounded. The mendicant and Lovel exerted their voices in a loud halloo, the
former waving Miss Wardour's handkerchief on the end of his staff to make them
conspicuous from above. Though the shouts were repeated, it was some time before
they were in exact response to their own, leaving the unfortunate sufferers
uncertain whether, in the darkening twilight and increasing storm, they had
made the persons who apparently were traversing the verge of the precipice to
bring them assistance, sensible of the place in which they had found refuge. At
length their halloo was regularly and distinctly answered, and their courage
confirmed, by the assurance that they were within hearing, if not within reach,
of friendly assistance.
There is a cliff whose high and bending head The shout of human voices from above was soon augmented, and the gleam of
torches mingled with those lights of evening which still remained amidst the
darkness of the storm. Some attempt was made to hold communication between the
assistants above, and the sufferers beneath, who were still clinging to their
precarious place of safety; but the howling of the tempest limited their
intercourse to cries, as inarticulate as those of the winged denizens of the
crag, which shrieked in chorus, alarmed by the reiterated sound of human voices,
where they had seldom been heard.
On the verge of the precipice an anxious group had now assembled. Oldbuck was
the foremost and most earnest, pressing forward with unwonted desperation to the
very brink of the crag, and extending his head (his hat and wig secured by a
handkerchief under his chin) over the dizzy height, with an air of determination
which made his more timorous assistants tremble. "Haud a care, haud a care,
Monkbarns," cried Caxon, clinging to the skirts of his patron, and withholding
him from danger as far as his strength permitted - 'God's sake, haud a care! -
Sir Arthur's drowned already, and an ye fa' over the cleugh too, there will be
but ae wig left in the parish, and that's the minister's."
"Mind the peak there," cried Mucklebackit, an old fisherman and smuggler -
"mind the peak - Steenie, Steenie Wilks, bring up the tackle - I'se warrant
we'll sune heave "I see them," said Oldbuck, I see them low down on that flat stone -
Hilli-hilloa, hilli-ho-a!"
"I see them mysell weel eneugh," said Mucklebackit; "they are sitting down
yonder like hoodie-craws in a mist; but d'ye think ye'll help them wi' skirling
that gate like an auld skart before a flaw o' weather? - Steenie, lad, bring up
the mast - Odd, I'se hae them up as we used to bouse up the kegs o'gin and
brandy Lang syne - Get up the pick-axe make a step for the mast - make the chair
fast with the rattlin- haul taught and belay!"
The fishers had brought with them the mast of a boat, and as half of the
country fellows about had now appeared, either out of zeal or curiosity, it was
soon sunk in the ground, and sufficiently secured. A yard, across the upright
mast, and a rope stretched along it, and reeved through a block at each end,
formed an extempore crane, which afforded the means of lowering an armchair,
well secured and fastened, down to the flat shelf on which the sufferers had
roosted. Their joy at hearing the preparations going on for their deliverance
was considerably qualified when they beheld the precarious vehicle, by means of
which they were to be conveyed to upper air. It swung about a yard free of the
spot which they occupied, obeying each impulse of the tempest, the empty air all
around it, and depending upon the security of a rope, which in the increasing
darkness, had dwindled to an almost imperceptible thread. Besides the hazard of
committing a human being to the vacant atmosphere in such a slight means of
conveyance, there was the fearful danger of the chair and its occupant being
dashed, either by the wind or the vibrations of the cord, against the rugged
face of the precipice. But to diminish the risk as much as possible, the
experienced seamen had "Let my father go first," exclaimed Isabella; "for God's sake my friends,
place him first in safety."
"It cannot be, Miss Wardour," said Lovel; "your life must be first secured -
the rope which bears your weight may -"
"I will not listen to a reason so selfish!"
"But ye maun listen to it, my bonny lassie," said Ochiltree, "for a' our
lives depend on it - besides, when ye get on the tap o' the heugh yonder, ye can
gie them a round guess o' what's ganging on in this Patmos o' ours - and Sir
Arthur's far by that, as I am thinking."
Struck with the truth of this reasoning, she exclaimed, "True, most true; I
am ready and willing to undertake the first risk - What shall I say to our
friends above?"
"Just to look that the tackle does not graze on the face o' the craig, and to
let the chair down, and draw it up hooly and fairly - we will halloo when we are
ready." With the sedulous attention of a parent to a child, Lovel bound Miss Wardour
with his handkerchief, neckcloth, and the mendicant's leathern belt, to the back
and arms of the chair, ascertaining accurately the security of each knot, while
Ochiltree kept Sir Arthur quiet. "What are ye doing wi' my bairn? - What are ye
doing? - She shall not be separated from me - Isabel, stay with me, I command
you."
"Lordsake, Sir Arthur, haud your tongue, and be thankful to God that there's
wiser folk than you to manage this job," cried the beggar, worn out by the
unreasonable exclamations of the poor Baronet.
"Farewell, my father," murmured Isabella - "farewell, my -my friends;" and,
shutting her eyes, as Edie's experience recommended, she gave the signal to
Lovel, and he to those who were above. She rose, while the chair in which she
sate was kept steady by the line which Lovel managed beneath. With a beating
heart he watched the flutter of her white dress, until the vehicle was on a
level with the brink of the precipice.
"Canny now, lads, canny now!" exclaimed old Mucklebackit, who acted as
commodore; "swerve the yard a bit- Now - there! there she sits safe on dry
land!"
A loud shout announced the successful experiment to her fellow-sufferers
beneath, who replied with a ready and cheerful halloo. Monkbarns, in his
ecstasy of joy, stripped his greatcoat to wrap up the young lady, and would have
pulled off his coat and waistcoat for the same purpose, had he not been withheld
by the cautious Caxon. "Haud a care O' us, your honour will be killed wi' the
hoast - ye'll no get out o' your night-cowl this fortnight - and that will suit
us unco ill. - Na, na, - there's the chariot down by, let twa o' the folk carry
the young leddy there."
"You're right," said the Antiquary, re-adjusting the sleeves and collar of
his coat, "you're right, Caxon; this is a naughty "Not for worlds, till I see my father safe."
In a few distinct words, evincing how much her resolution had surmounted even
the mortal fear of so agitating a hazard, she explained the nature of the
situation beneath, and the wishes of Lovel and Ochiltree.
"Right, right, that's right too- I should like to see the son of Sir Gamelyn
de Guardover on dry land myself - I have a notion he would sign the abjuration
oath, and the Ragman-roll to boot, and acknowledge Queen Mary to be nothing
better than she should be, to get alongside my bottle of old port that he ran
away from, and left scarce begun. But he's safe now, and here a' comes - (for the
chair was again lowered, and Sir Arthur made fast in it, without much
consciousness on his own part) - here a' comes - bowse away, my boys - canny wi'
him - a pedigree of a hundred links is hanging on a tenpenny tow - the whole
barony of Knockwinnock depends on three plies of hemp - respice finem, respice
funem-look to your end-look to a rope's end.- Welcome, welcome my good old
friend, to firm land, though I cannot say to warm land or to dry land - a cord
for ever against fifty fathom of water, though not in the sense of the base
proverb - a fico for the phrase - better sus. per funem, than sus. Per coll."
While Oldbuck ran on in this way, Sir Arthur was safely wrapped in the close
embraces of his daughter, who assuming the authority which the circumstances
demanded, ordered some of the assistants to convey him to the chariot, promising
to follow in a few minutes. She lingered on the cliff, holding an old
countryman's arm, to witness probably the safety of those whose dangers she had
shared.
"What have we here? said Oldbuck, as the vehicle once more ascended. "What
patched and weather-beaten matter "Ane that's weel worth ony twa o' us, Monkbarns - it's the young stranger lad
they ca' Lovel - and he's behaved this blessed night, as if he had three lives
to rely on, and was willing to waste them a' rather than endanger ither folk's -
Ca' hooly, sirs, as ye wad win an auld man's blessing!- mind there's naebody
below now to haud the gy- Hae a care o' the Cat's Lug corner - bide weel aff
Crummie's Horn!"
"have a care indeed," echoed Oldbuck; "what ! is it my rara avis - my black
swan - my phoenix of companions in a post-chaise? - take care of him,
Mucklebackit."
"As muckle care as if he were a greybeard o'brandy; and I canna take mair if
his hair were like John Harlowe's - Yo ho, my hearts, bowse away with him!"
Lovel did, in fact, run a much greater risk than any of his precursors. His
weight was not sufficient to render his ascent steady amid such a storm of wind,
and he swung like an agitated pendulum at the mortal risk of being dashed
against the rocks. But he was young, bold, and active, and, with the assistance
of the beggar's stout piked staff, which he had retained by advice of the
proprietor, contrived to bear himself from the face of the precipice, and yet
more hazardous projecting cliffs which varied its surface. Tossed in empty
space, like an idle and unsubstantial feather, with a motion that agitated the
brain at once with fear and with dizziness, he retained his alertness of
exertion and presence of mind; and it was not until he was safely grounded upon
the summit of the cliff, that he felt temporary and giddy sickness. As he
recovered from a sort of half swoon, he cast his eyes eagerly around. The object
which they would most willingly have sought, was already in the act of vanish The old man promised to obey. Oldbuck thrust something into his hand -
Ochiltree looked at it by the torch-light, and returned it. - "Na, na! I never
tak gowd - besides, Monkbarns, ye wad maybe be rueing it the morn." Then turning
to the group of fishermen and peasants, - "Now, sirs, wha will gie me a supper
and some clean pease-strae?"
"I," "and I", "and I," answered many a ready voice.
Aweel, since sae it is, and I can only sleep in ae barn at once, I'll gae
down wi' Saunders Mucklebackit - he has aye a soup o' something comfortable
about his bigging - and, bairns, I'll maybe live to put ilka ane o' ye in mind
some ither night that ye hae promised me quarters and my awmous;" and away he
went with the fisherman.
Oldbuck laid the hand of strong possession on Lovel - "Deil a stride ye's go
to Fairport this night, young man - you must go home with me to Monkbarns. -
Why, man, you have been a hero - a perfect Sir William Wallace by all accounts.
- Come, my good lad, take hold of my arm - I am not a prime support in such a
wind - but Caxon shall help us out - Here, you old idiot, come on the other side
of "I have been pretty well accustomed to climbing, and I have long observed
fowlers practise that pass down the cliff."
"But how, in the name of all that is wonderful, came you to discover the
danger of the pettish Baronet and his far more deserving daughter?"
"I saw them from the verge of the precipice."
"From the verge! - umph - And what possessed you, dumosa pendere procul de
rupe? - though dumosa is not the appropriate epithet - What the deil, man,
tempted ye to the verge of the Craig?"
"Why - I like to see the gathering and growling of a coming storm - or, in
your own classical language, Mr. Oldbuck, suave mari magno - and so forth - but
here we reach the turn to Fairport. I must wish you good night."
"Not a step, not a pace, not an inch, not a shathmont, as I may say; the
meaning of which word has puzzled many that think themselves antiquaries. I am
clear we should read salmon-length for shathmont's length. You are aware that
the space allotted for the passage of a salmon through a dam, dike, or weir, by
statute, is the length within which a full-grown pig can turn himself round -
now I have a scheme to prove, that, as terrestrial objects were thus appealed
to for ascertaining submarine measurement, so it must be supposed that the
productions of the water were established as gages of the extent of land. -
Shathmont- salmont - you see the close alliance of the sounds; dropping out two
h's and a t, and assuming an l, makes the whole difference - I wish to Heaven no
antiquarian derivation had demanded heavier concessions."
"But, my dear sir, I really must go home - I am wet to the skin."
"Shalt have my night-gown, man, and slippers, and catch the antiquarian fever
as men do the plague, by wearing infected garments - nay, I know what you
would be at - you are afraid to put the old bachelor to charges. But is there
not the remains of that glorious chicken-pie -which, meo arbritrio, is better
cold than hot - and that bottle of my oldest port, out of which the silly brain
sick Baronet (whom I cannot pardon, since he has escaped breaking his neck) had
just taken one glass, when his infirm noddle went a woolgathering after Gamelyn
de Guardover?"
So saying, he dragged Lovel forward, till the Palmer's Port of Monkbarns
received them. Never, perhaps, had it admitted two pedestrians more needing
rest; for Monkbarns fatigue had been in a degree very contrary to his usual
habits, and his more young and robust companion had that evening undergone
agitation of mind which had harrassed and wearied him even more than his
extraordinary exertions of body.
They reached the room in
which they had dined, and were clamourously welcomed by Miss Oldbuck.
"Where's the younger womankind?" said the Antiquary. "Indeed, brother, amang a' the steery, Maria wadna be guided by me - she set
away to the Halket Craig Head - I wonder ye didna see her."
"Eh! - what - what's that you say, sister? - did the girl go out in a night
like this to the Halket Head? - Good God! the misery of the night is not ended
yet!"
"But ye winna wait, Monkbarns - ye are so imperative and impatient -"
"Tittle-tattle, woman," said the impatient and agitated Antiquary, "where is
my dear Mary?"
"Just where ye suld be yoursell, Monkbarns - upstairs, and in her warm bed."
"I could have sworn it," said Oldbuck, laughing, but obviously much relieved,
"I could have sworn it - the lazy monkey did not care if we were all drowned
together - why did you say she went out?"
"But ye wadna wait to hear out my tale, Monkbarns - she gaed out, and she
came in again with the gardener sae sune as she saw that nane o' ye were clodded
ower the Craig, and that Miss Wardour was safe in the chariot - she was hame a
quarter of an hour syne, for it's now ganging ten - sair droukit was she, puir
thing, sae I e'en put a glass o' sherry in her water-gruel."
"Right, Grizel, right - let womankind alone for coddling each other. But hear
ye, my venerable sister - Start not at the word venerable; it implies many
praiseworthy qualities besides age; though that too is honourable, albeit it is
the last quality for which womankind would wish to be honoured - but perpend my
words; Let Lovel and me have forthwith the relics of the chicken-pie, and the
reversion of the port."
The chicken-pie - the port - ou dear! brother - there was but a wheen banes,
and scarce a drap o' the wine."
The Antiquary's countenance became clouded, though "I make no wark, as ye call it, woman."
"But what's the use o' looking sae glum and glunch about a pickle banes? - an
ye will hae the truth, ye maun ken the minister came in, worthy man - sair
distressed he was, nae doubt, about your precaurious situation, as he ca'd it
(for ye ken how weel he's gifted wi' words), and here he wad bide till he could
hear wi' certainty how the matter was likely to gang wi' ye a' - He said fine
things on the duty of resignation to Providence's will, worthy man! that did
he."
Oldbuck replied catching the same tone, "Worthy man! - he cared not how soon
Monkbarns had devolved on an heir female, I've a notion - and while he was
occupied in the Christian office of consolation against impending evil, I reckon
that the chicken-pie and my good port disappeared?"
"Dear brother, how can you speak of sic frivolities, when you have had sic an
escape from the Craig?"
"Better than my supper has had from the minister's Craig, Grizzie - it's all
discussed I suppose?"
"Hout, Monkbarns, ye speak as if there was nae mair meat in the house - wad
ye not have had me offer the honest man some slight refreshment after his walk
frae the manse?"
Oldbuck half-whistled, half-hummed, the end of the old Scottish ditty,
"O, first they eated the white puddings, His sister hastened to silence his murmurs, by proposing some of the relics
of the dinner. He spoke of another bottle of wine, but recommended in preference
a glass of brandy which was really excellent. As no entreaties could prevail on
Lovel to indue the velvet night-cap and branched morning gown of his host
Oldbuck, who pretended to a little knowledge of the medical art, insisted on his
going to bed as soon as possible, and proposed to despatch a messenger (the
indefatigable Caxon) to Fairport early in the morning, to procure him a change
of clothes.
This was the first intimation Miss Oldbuck had received that the young
stranger was to be their guest for the night; and such was the surprise with
which she was struck by a proposal so uncommon, that, had the superincumbent
weight of her head-dress, such as we before described, been less preponderant,
her grey locks must have started up on end, and hurled it from its position.
"Lord haud a care o' us!" exclaimed the astounded maiden
"What's the matter now, Grizel?"
"Wad ye but just speak a moment, Monkbarns?"
"Speak! - what should I speak about? - I want to get to my bed - and this
poor young fellow - let a bed be made ready for him instantly."
"A bed?- The Lord preserve us," again ejaculated Grizel.
"Why, what's the matter now? are there not beds and rooms enough in the
house? Was it not an ancient hospitium, in which, I am warranted to say, beds
were nightly made down for a score of pilgrims?"
"Oh dear, Monkbarns! wha ken what they might do Lang syne? - but in our time
- beds - ay, troth, there's beds enow sic as they are - and rooms enow too - but
ye ken yoursell the beds haena been sleept in, Lord kens the time, nor the rooms
aired. - If I had kenn'd, Mary and me might hae gane down to the
manse - Miss Beckie is aye fond to see us (and sae is the minister, brother) -
But now,gude save us!-
"Is there not the Green Room, Grizel?"
"Troth is there, and it is in decent order too, though naebody has sleepit
there since Dr. Heavysterne, and "
"And what?"
"And what! I'm sure ye ken yoursell what a night he had - ye wadna expose the
young gentleman to the like o' that, wad ye?"
Lovel interfered upon hearing this altercation, and protested he would far rather walk home than put them to the least inconvenience - that the exercise would be of service to him - that he knew the road perfectly, by night or day, to Fairport - that the storm was abating, and so forth; adding all that civility could suggest as an excuse for escaping from a hospitality which seemed more inconvenient to his host than he could possibly have anticipated. But the howling of the wind, and pattering of the rain against the windows, with his knowledge of the preceding fatigues of the evening, must have prohibited Oldbuck, even had he entertained less regard for his young friend than he really felt, from permitting him to depart. Besides, he was piqued in honour to show that he himself was not governed by womankind- "Sit ye down, sit ye down, sit ye
down, man," he reiterated; "an ye part so, I would I might never draw a cork
again, and here comes out one from a prime bottle of - strong ale - right anno
domini - none of your wassia quassia decoctions, but brewed of Monkbarns
barley - John of the Girnel never drew a better flagon to entertain a wandering
minstrel, or palmer, with the freshest news from Palestine. - and to remove from
your mind the slightest wish to depart, know, that if you do so, your character
as a gallant knight is gone for ever - why, 'tis an adventure, man, to sleep in
"What! A haunted apartment, I suppose?"
'To be sure, to be sure - every mansion in this country of the slightest
antiquity has its ghosts and its haunted chamber, and you must not suppose us
worse off than our neighbours. They are going, indeed, somewhat out of fashion.
I have seen the day when, if you had doubted the reality of the ghost in an old
manor-house, you ran the risk of being made a ghost yourself, as Hamlet says -
yes, if you had challenged the existence of redcowl in the castle of Glenstirym,
old Sir Peter Pepperbrand would have had ye out to his courtyard, made you
betake yourself to your weapon, and if your trick of fence were not the better,
would have sticked you like a paddock, on his own baronial middenstead. I once
narrowly escaped such an affray- but I humbled myself and apologised to redcowl; for, even in my younger days, I was no friend to the monomachia, or duel, and
would rather walk with Sir Priest than with Sir Knight, I care not who knows so
much of my valour - thank god I am old now, and can indulge my irritabilities
without the necessity of supporting them by cold steel."
Here Miss Oldbuck re-entered, with a singularly sage expression of
countenance. 'Mr. Lovel's bed's ready, brother - clean sheets - weel aired - a
spunk of fire in the chimney - I am sure, Mr. Lovel (addressing him), it's no
for the trouble - and I hope you will have a good night's rest - but -'
'you are resolved,' said the Antiquary, ' to do what you can to prevent it."
'Me? - I am sure I have said naething Monkbarns." 'Ou, Monkbarns does not like to hear of it - but he kens himsell that the
room has an ill name. It's weel minded that it was there auld Rab Tull the
town-clerk was sleeping when he had that marvellous communications about the
grand law-plea between us and the feuars at the mussel Craig It had cost a
hantle siller, Mr. Lovel; for law-pleas were no carried on without siller Lang
syne mair than they are now - and the Monkbarns of that day - our gudesire, Mr.
Lovel, as I said before - was like to be waured afore the session for want of a
paper - Monkbarns there kens weel what paper it was, but I'se warrant he'll no
help me out wi' my tale -but it was a paper of great significance to the plea,
and we were to be waured for want o't. Aweel, the cause was to come on before
the fifteen - in presence, as the ca't - and auld Rab Tull, the town-clerk, he
cam ower to make a last search for the paper that was wanting, before our
gudesire gaed into Edinburgh to look after his plea - so there was little time
to come and gang on - he was but a doited snuffy body, Rab, as I've heard - but
then he was the town- clerk of Fairport, and the Monkbarns heritors aye employed
him on account of their connection wi' the burgh, ye ken."
Lovel interfered upon hearing this altercation, and protested he would far
rather walk home than put them to the least inconvenience - that the exercise
would be of service to him - that he knew the road perfectly, by night or day,
to Fairport - that the storm was abating, and so forth; adding all that civility
could suggest as an excuse for escaping from a hospitality which seemed more
inconvenient to his host than he could possibly have anticipated. But the
howling of the wind, and pattering of the rain against the windows, with his
knowledge of the preceding fatigues of the evening, must have prohibited
Oldbuck, even had he entertained less regard for his young friend than he really
felt, from permitting him to depart. Besides, he was piqued in honour to show
that he himself was not governed by womankind- "Sit ye down, sit ye down, sit ye
down, man" he reiterated; "an ye part so, I would I might never draw a cork
again, and here comes out one from a prime bottle of - strong ale - right anno
domini - none of your Wassia Quassia decoctions, but brewed of Monkbarns
barley - John of the Girnel never drew a better flagon to entertain a wandering
minstrel, or palmer, with the freshest news from Palestine. - And to remove from
your mind the slightest wish to depart, know, that if you do so, your character
as a gallant knight is gone for ever - Why, 'tis an adventure, man', to sleep in
"What ! a haunted apartment, I suppose?"
"To be sure, to be sure - every mansion in this country of the slightest
antiquity has its ghosts and its haunted chamber, and you must not suppose us
worse off than our neighbours. They are going, indeed, somewhat out of fashion.
I have seen the day when, if you had doubted the reality of the ghost in an old
manor-house, you ran the risk of being made a ghost yourself, as Hamlet says -
Yes, if you had challenged the existence of Redcowl in the castle of Glenstirym,
old Sir Peter Pepperbrand would have had ye out to his courtyard, made you
betake yourself to your weapon, and if your trick of fence were not the better,
would have sticked you like a paddock, on his own baronial middenstead. I once
narrowly escaped such an affray- but I humbled myself and apologised to Redcowl;
for, even in my younger days, I was no friend to the monomachia, or duel, and
would rather walk with Sir Priest than with Sir Kinght, I care not who knows so
much of my valour - thank God I am old now, and can indulge my irritabilities
without the necessity of supporting them by cold steel."
Here Miss Oldbuck reentered, with a singularly sage expression of
countenance. "Mr. Lovel's bed's ready, brother - clean sheets - weel aired - a
spunk of fire in the chimney - I am sure, Mr. Lovel (addressing him), it's no
for the trouble - and I hope you will have a good night's rest - But -
"You are resolved," said the Antiquary, "to do what you can to prevent it."
"Me? - I am sure I have said naething, Monkbarns." "Ou, Monkbarns does not like to hear of it - but he kens himsell that the
room has an ill name. It's weel minded that it was there auld Rab Tull the
town-clerk was sleeping when he had that marvellous communications about the
grand law-plea between us and the feuars at the Mussel Craig. It had cost a
hantle siller, Mr. Lovel; for law-pleas were no carried on without siller Lang
syne mair than they are now - and the Monkbarns of that day - our gudesire, Mr.
Lovel, as I said before - was like to be waured afore the Session for want of a
paper - Monkbarns there kens weel what paper it was, but I'se warrant he'll no
help me out wi' my tale - but it was a paper of great significance to the pleas,
and we were to be waured for want o't. Aweel, the cause was to come on before
the fifteen - in presence, as the ca't - and auld Rab Tull, the town-clerk, he
cam ower to make a last search for the paper that was wanting, before our
gudesire gaed into Edinburgh to look after his plea - so there was little time
to come and gang on - He was but a doited snuffy body, Rab, as I've heard - but
then he was the town- clerk of Fairport, and the Monkbarns heritors aye employed
him on account of their connection wi' the burgh, ye ken."
"Sister Grizel, this is abominable," interrupted Oldbuck; "I vow to Heaven ye
might have raised the ghosts of every abbot of Trotcosey, since the days of
Waldimir, in the time you have been detailing the introduction to this single
spectre - Learn to be succinct in your narrative - Imitate the concise style of
old Aubrey, an experienced ghost-seer, who entered his memoranda on these
subjects in a terse business-like manner; exempli gratia - 'At Cirencester, 5th
March, 1670, was an apparition - Being demanded whether good spirit or bad, made
no answer, but instantly disappeared with a curious perfume, and a melodious
twang.' - Vide his Miscellanies, p. 18, as well as I can remember, and near the
middle of the page."
"Oh, Monkbarns, man! do ye think everybody is as book- learned as yoursell? -
But ye like to gar folk look like fools- ye can do that to Sir Arthur, and the
minister his very sell."
"Nature has been beforehand with me, Grizel, in both these instances, and in
another which shall be nameless; - but take a glass of ale, Grizel, and proceed
with your story, for it waxes late."
"Jenny's just warming your bed, Monkbarns, and ye maun e'en wait till she's
done. - Weel, I was at the search that our gudesire, Monkbarns that then was,
made wi' auld Rab Tull's assistance; - but ne'er-be-licket could they find that
was to their purpose. And sae after they had touzled out mony a leather
poke-full o' papers, the town-clerk had his drap punch at e'en to wash the dust
out of his throat - we never were glass-breakers in this house, Mr. Lovel, but
the body had got sic a trick of sippling and tippling wi' the bailies and
deacons when they met (which was amaist ilka night) concerning the common gude
o' the burgh, that he couldna weel sleep without it - But his punch he gat and
to bed he gaed - and in the middle of the night he gat a fearfu' wakening!-he
was never just himsell after it, and he was strucken wi' the dead palsy that
very day four years
- He thought, Mr. Lovel, that he heard the curtains o' his bed fissil, and
out he lookit, fancying, puir man, it might hae been the cat - But he saw - God
hae a care o' us, it gars my flesh aye creep, though I hae tauld the story
twenty times - he saw a weel-fa'ard auld gentleman standing by his bedside, in
the moonlight, in a queer-fashioned dress, wi' mony a button and band-string
about it, and that part o' his garments, which it does not become a leddy to
particulareeze, was baith side and wide, and as mony plies o't as of ony
Hamburgh skipper's - He had a beard too, and whiskers "Carta, you transformer of languages," cried Oldbuck; "if my ancestor had
learned no other language in the other world, at least he would not forget the
Latinity for which he was so famous while in this."
"Weel, weel, carta be it then, but they ca'd it Carter that tell'd me the
story - it cried aye carta, if sae be that it was carta, and made a sign to Rab
to follow it. Rab Tull keppit a highland heart, and bang'd out o' bed, and till
some of his readiest claes, and he did follow the thing up stairs and down
stairs to the place we ca' the high dow-cot (a sort of a little tower in the
corner of the auld house, where there was a rickle o' useless boxes and
trunks),and there the ghaist gae Rab a kick wi' the tae foot, and a kick wi' the
tother, to that very auld east-country tabernacle of a cabinet that my brother
has standing beside his library table, and then disappeared like a fluff o'
tobacco, leaving Rab in a very pitiful condition." "I would rather," said Lovel, with awakened curiosity, "I would rather hear
your opinion of the way in which the deed was discovered."
"Why, if I wanted a patron for my legend, I could find no less a one than
Saint Augustine, who tells the story of a deceased person appearing to his son,
when sued for a debt which had been paid, and directing him where to find the
discharge. But I rather opine with Lord Bacon, who says that imagination is much
akin to miracle-working faith. There was always some idle story of the room
being haunted by the spirit of Aldobrand Oldenbuck, my great-great-great-
grandfather - it's a shame to the English language that we have not a less
clumsy way of expressing a relationship, of which we have occasion to think and
speak so frequently - he was a foreigner, and wore his national dress, of which
tradition had preserved an accurate description; and indeed there is a print of
him, supposed to be by Reginald Elstracke, pulling the press with his own hand,
as it works off the sheets of his scarce edition of the Augsburg Confession. "Oh, brother, brother! But Dr. Heavysterne, brother - whose sleep was so sore
broken, that he declared he wadna pass another night in the Green Room to get
all Monkbarns, so that Mary and I were forced to yield our -"
"Why, Grizel, the doctor is a good, honest, pudding- headed German, of much
merit in his own way, but fond of the mystical, like many of his countrymen. You
and he had a traffic the whole evening, in which you received the tales of
Mesmer, Shropfer, Caliostro, and other modern pretenders to the mystery of
raising spirits, discovering hidden treasure, and so forth, in exchange for your
legends of the green bedchamber - and considering that the Illustrissimus ate a
pound and a half of Scotch collops to supper, smoked six pipes, and drank ale
and brandy in proportion, I am not surprised at his having a fit of the
nightmare - But everything is now ready. Permit me to light you to your apartment, Mr. Lovel - I am sure you have need of rest - and I trust my ancestor is
too sensible of the duties of hospitality to interfere with the repose which you
have so well merited by your gallant and manly behaviour."
So saying, the Antiquary took up a bedroom candlestick of massive silver
and antique form, which, he observed, was wrought out of the silver found in
the mines of the Harz mountains, and had been the property of
When midnight o'er the moonless skies When they reached the Green Room, as it was called, Oldbuck placed the candle
on the toilet-table, before a huge mirror with a black japanned frame,
surrounded by dressing- boxes of the same, and looked around him with something
of a disturbed expression of countenance. "I am seldom in this apartment," he
said, "and never without yielding to a melancholy feeling - not, of course, on
account of the childish nonsense that Grizel was telling you, but owing to
circumstances of an early and unhappy attachment. It is at such moments as
these, Mr. Lovel, that we feel the changes of time. The same objects are before
us - those inanimate things which we have gazed on in wayward infancy and
impetuous youth, in anxious and scheming man- hood - they are permanent and the
same; but when we look upon them in cold unfeeling old age, can we, changed in
our temper, our pursuits, our feelings, - changed in our form, our limbs, and
our strength, - can we be ourselves called the My eyes are dim with childish tears, Thus fares it still in our decay; Well, time cures every wound, and though the scar may remain and occasionally ache, yet the earliest agony of its recent infliction is felt no more." - So saying he shook Lovel cordially by the hand, wished him good night, and took his leave. Step after step Lovel could trace his host's retreat along the various
passages, and each door which he closed behind him fell with a sound more
distant and dead. The guest, thus separated from the living world, took up the
candle and surveyed the apartment. The fire blazed cheerfully. Mrs. Grizel's
attention had left some fresh wood, should he choose to continue it, and the
apartment had a comfortable, though not a lively appearance. It was hung with
tapestry, which the looms of Arras had produced in the sixteenth century, and
which the learned typographer, so often Lo! here be oakis grete, streight as a line, And in another canton was the following similar legend: And many an hart, and many an hind, The bed was of a dark and faded green, wrought to correspond with the tapestry, but by a more modern and less "I have heard," muttered Lovel, as he took a cursory view of the room and its
furniture, "that ghosts often chose the best room in the mansion to which they
attached them- selves; and I cannot disapprove of the taste of the disembodied
printer of the Augsburg Confession." But he found it so difficult to fix his
mind upon the stories which had been told him of an apartment, with which they
seemed so singularly to correspond, that he almost regretted the absence of
those agitated feelings, half fear half curiosity, which sympathise with the old
legends of awe and wonder, from which the anxious reality of his own hopeless
passion at present detached him. For he now only felt emotions like those
expressed in the lines,- Ah! cruel maid,how hast thou changed The temper of my
mind! My heart, by thee from all estranged, Becomes like thee unkind.
He endeavoured to conjure up something like the feelings which would, at
another time, have been congenial to his situation, but his heart had no room
for these vagaries of imagination. The recollection of Miss Wardour, determined
not to acknowledge him when compelled to endure his society, and evincing her
purpose to escape from it, would have alone occupied his imagination
exclusively. But with this were united recollections more agitating if less
painful - her hairbreadth escape - the fortunate assistance which he had been
able to render her - Yet, what was his requital?- She left the cliff which his
fate was yet doubtful, while it was uncertain whether her preserver had not lost
the life But this lover-like mode of reasoning was not likely to reconcile him to his
fate, since the more amiable his imagination presented Miss Wardour, the more
inconsolable he felt he should be rendered by the extinction of his hopes. He
was, indeed, conscious of possessing the power of removing her prejudices on
some points; but, even in extremity, he determined to keep the original
determination which he had formed, of ascertaining that she desired an
explanation ere he intruded one upon her. And turn the matter as he would, he
could not regard his suit as desperate. There was something of embarrassment as
well as of grave surprise in her look when Oldbuck presented him, and, perhaps,
upon second thoughts, the one was assumed to cover the other. He would not
relinquish a pursuit which had already cost him such pains. Plans, suiting the
romantic temper of the brain that entertained them, chased each other through
his head, thick and irregular as the motes of the sunbeam, and long after he
had laid himself to rest, continued to prevent the repose which he greatly
needed. Then, wearied by the uncertainty and difficulties with which each scheme
appeared to be attended, he bent up his mind to the strong effort of shaking off
his love, "like dew-drops from the lion's mane," and resuming those studies and
that career of life which his unrequited affection had so long and so
fruitlessly interrupted. In this last resolution, he endeavoured to fortify
himself by every argument which pride, as well as reason, could suggest. "She
shall not suppose," he said, "that, presuming on an accidental It is seldom that sleep, after such violent agitation, is either sound or
refreshing. Lovel's was disturbed by a thousand baseless and confused visions.
He was a bird- he was a fish - or he flew like the one, and swam like the other,
- qualities which would have been very essential to his safety a few hours
before. Then Miss Wardour was a siren, or a bird of Paradise; her father a
triton, or a seagull; and Oldbuck alternately a porpoise and a cormorant.
These agreeable imaginations were varied by all the usual vagaries of a feverish
dream; the air refused to bear the visionary, the water seemed to burn him - the
rocks felt like down pillows as he was dashed against them - whatever he
undertook failed in some strange and unexpected manner - and whatever attracted
his attention, underwent, as he attempted to investigate it, some wild and
wonderful metamorphosis, while his mind continued all the while in some degree
conscious of the delusion, from which it in vain struggled to free itself by
awaking - feverish symptoms all, with which those who are haunted by the
night-hag, whom the learned call Ephialtes, are but too well ac- quainted. At
length these crude phantasmata arranged themselves into something more regular,
if indeed the imagination of Lovel, after he awoke (for it was by no means the
faculty in which his mind was least rich),
Leaving this
discussion to the learned, we will say, that, after a succession of wild images,
such as we have above described, our hero, for such we must acknowledge him, so
far regained a consciousness of locality as to remember where he was, and the
whole furniture of the Green Chamber was depicted to his slumbering eye. And
here, once more, let me protest, that if there should be so much old-fashioned
faith left among this shrewd and sceptical generation, as to suppose that what
follows was an impression conveyed rather by the eye than by the imagination, I
do not impugn their doctrine. He was then, or imagined himself, broad awake in
the Green Chamber, gazing upon the flickering and occasional flame which the
unconsumed remnants of the fagots sent forth, as, one by one, they fell down
upon the red embers, into which the principal part of the boughs to which they
belonged had crumbled away. Insensibly the legend of Aldobrand Oldenbuck, and
his mysterious visits to the inmates of the chamber, awoke in his mind, and with
it, as we often feel in dreams, an anxious and fearful expectation, which seldom
fails instantly to summon up before our mind's eye the object of our fear.
Brighter sparkles of light flashed from the chimney, with such intense
brilliancy, as to enlighten all the room. The tapestry waved wildly on the wall,
till its dusky forms seemed to become animated. The hunters blew their horns -
the stag seemed to fly, the boars to resist, and the hounds to assail the one
and pursue the other; the cry of deer, mangled by throttling dogs - the shouts
of men, and the clatter of horses' hoofs, seemed at once to surround him - while
every group pursued, He sate up in bed, and endeavoured to clear his brain of the phantoms which
had disturbed it during this weary night. The beams of the morning sun streamed
through the half-closed shutters, and admitted a distinct light into the
apartment. He looked round upon the hangings, but the mixed groups of silken and
worsted huntsmen were as stationary as tenter-hooks could make them, and only
trembled slightly as the early breeze, which found its way through an open
crevice of the latticed window, glided along their surface. Lovel leapt out of
bed, and, wrapping himself in a morning-gown, that had been considerately laid
by his bedside, stepped towards the window, which commanded a view of the sea,
the roar of whose billows announced it still disquieted by the storm of the
preceding evening, although the morning was fair and serene. The window of a
turret, which projected at an angle with the wall, and thus came to be very near
Lovel's apartment, was half open, and from that quarter he heard again the same
music which had probably broken short his dream. With its visionary character it
had lost much of its charms - it was now nothing more than an air on the
harpsichord, tolerably well performed - such is the caprice of imagination as
affecting the fine arts. A female voice sung, with some taste and great
simplicity, something between a song and a hymn, in words to the following effect:---
``Why sitt'st thou by that ruin'd hill, ``Know'st thou not me!'' the Deep Voice cried, ``Before my breath, like, blazing flax, ``Redeem mine hours---the space is brief--- While the verses were yet singing, Lovel had returned to his bed; the train
of ideas which they awakened was romantic and pleasing, such as his soul
delighted in, and, willingly adjourning, till more broad day, the doubtful task
of determining on his future line of conduct, he abandoned himself to the
pleasing languor inspired by the music, and fell into a sound and refreshing
sleep, from which he was only awakened at a late hour by old Caxon, who came
creeping into the room to render the offices of a valet-de-chambre.
"I have brushed your coat, sir," said the old man, when he perceived Lovel
was awake; "the callant brought it frae Fairport this morning, for that ye had
on yesterday is scantly feasibly dry, though it's been a' night at the kitchen
fire - and I hae cleaned your shoon - I doubt ye'll no be wanting me to tie your
hair, for (with a gentle sigh) a' the young gentlemen wear crops now - but I hae
the curling-tongs here to gie it a bit turn ower the brow, if ye like, before ye
gae down to the leddies."
Lovel, who was by this time once more on his legs, declined the old man's
professional offices, but accompanied the refusal with such a douceur as
completely sweetened Caxon's mortification. "It's a pity he disna get his hair tied and pouthered," said the ancient
friseur, when he had got once more into the kitchen, in which, on one pretence
or other, he spent three parts of his idle time- that is to say, of his whole
time -"it's a great pity, for he's a comely young gentleman."
"Hout awa, ye auld gowk," said Jenny Rintherout, " would ye creesh his bonny
brown hair wi' your nasty ulyie, and then moust it like the auld minister's wig?
- Ye'll be for your breakfast, I'se warrant? - hae, there's a soup parritch for
ye - it will set ye better to be slaistering at them and the lapper- milk than
middling wi' Mr. Lovel's head - ye wad spoil the maist natural and beautifaest
head o' hair in a' Fairport, baith burgh and county."
The poor barber sighed over the disrespect into which his art had so
universally fallen, but Jenny was a person too important to offend by
contradiction; so, sitting quietly down in the kitchen, he digested at once his
humiliation, and the contents of a bicker which held a Scotch pint of substantial oatmeal porridge.
Sometimes he thinks that Heaven this pageant sent, We must now request our readers to adjourn to the breakfast-parlour of Mr. Oldbuck, who, despising the modern slops of tea and coffee, was
substantially regaling himself, more majorum, with cold roast-beef, and a glass
of a sort of beverage called mum, a species of fat ale, brewed from wheat and
bitter herbs, of which the present generation only know the name by its
occurrence in revenue acts of parliament, "Why, sister, consider this rose of yours has been knocked about by sea and
wind all yesterday evening, as if he had been a bunch of kelp or tangle, and how
the devil would you have him retain his colour?"
"I certainly do still feel somewhat fatigued," said Lovel, "notwithstanding
the excellent accommodations with which your hospitality so amply supplied me."
"Ah, sir!" said Miss Oldbuck, looking at him with a knowing smile, or what
was meant to be one, "ye'll not allow of ony inconvenience, out of civility to
us."
"Really, madam," replied Lovel, "I had no disturbance; for I cannot term such
the music with which some kind fairy favoured me."
"I doubted Mary wad waken you wi' her skreighing; she didna ken I had left
open a chink of your window, for, forbye the ghaist, the Green Room disna vent
weel in a high wind - But, I am judging, ye heard mair than Mary's lilts
yestreen - weel, men are hardy creatures, the can gae through "A man of Mr. Oldbuck's learning, madam," answered the questioned party,
"would not be exposed to the inconvenience sustained by the Highland gentleman
you mentioned last night."
"Ay! ay! ye understand now where the difficulty lies- language? he has ways
o' his ain wad banish a' thae sort of worricows as far as the hindermost parts
of Gideon (meaning possibly Midian), as Mr. Blattergowl says - only ane wadna be
uncivil to ane's forbear though he be a ghaist - I am sure I will try that
receipt of yours, brother, that ye showed me in a book, if onybody is to sleep
in that room again, though, I think, in Christian charity, ye should rather fit
up the matted-room - it's a wee damp and dark, to be sure, but then we hae sae
seldom occasion for a spare bed."
"No, no, sister; dampness and darkness are worse than spectres - ours are
spirits of light - and I would rather have you try the spell.'
"I will do that blythely, Monkbarns, an I had the ingredients, as my
cookery book ca's them - There was vervain and dill - I mind that - Davie Dibble
will ken about them, though, maybe, he'll gie them Latin names - and peppercorn,
we hae walth o' them, for -
"Hypericon, thou foolish woman!" thundered Oldbuck; "d'ye suppose you're
making a haggis - or do you think that a spirit, though he be formed of air, can
be expelled by a receipt against wind? - This wise Grizel of mine, Mr. Lovel,
recollects (with what accuracy you may judge) a charm "Auld woman! Monkbarns," said Miss Oldbuck, roused something above her usual
submissive tone, "ye really are less than civil to me."
"Not less than just, Grizel; however, I include in the same class many a
sounding name, from Jamblichus down to Aubrey, who have wasted their time in
devising imaginary remedies for non-existing diseases - But I hope, my young
friend, that, charmed or uncharmed - secured by the potency of Hypericon, With
vervain and with dill, That hinder witches of their will, or left disarmed and
defenceless to the inroads of the invisible world, you will give another night
to the terrors of the haunted apartment, and another day to your faithful and
real friends."
"I heartily wish I could, but -
"Nay, but me no buts - I have set my heart upon it."
"I am greatly obliged, my dear sir, but-
"Look ye there, now - but again! - I hate but; I know no form of expression
in which he can appear, that is amiable, excepting as a butt of sack - but is to
me a more detestable combination of letters than no itself. No is a surly,
honest fellow, speaks his mind rough and round at once. But is a sneaking,
evasive, half-bred, exceptuous sort of a conjunction, which comes to pull away
the cup when it is at your lips---
------------it does allay ``Well, then,'' answered Lovel, whose motions were really undetermined at the moment, " you
shall not connect the recollection of my name with so churlish a particle - I
must soon think of leaving Fairport, I am afraid - and I will, since you are
good enough to wish it, take this opportunity of spending another day here."
"And you shall be rewarded, my boy - First you shall see John o' the Girnel's
grave, and then we'll walk gently along the sands, the state of the tide being
first ascertained (for we will have no more Peter Wilkins' adventures, no more
Glum and Gawrie work), as far as Knockwinnock Castle, and inquire after the old
knight and my fair foe - which will but be barely civil, and then-
"I beg pardon, my dear sir; but, perhaps, you had better adjourn your visit
till to-morrow - I am a stranger, you know."
``And are, therefore, the more bound to show civility, I should suppose. But I beg your pardon for mentioning a word that perhaps belongs only to a collector of antiquities---I am one of the old school,
When courtiers galloped o'er four counties "Why, if - if - if you thought it would be expected - but I believe I had better
stay."
"Nay, nay, my good friend, I am not so old-fashioned as to press you to what
is disagreeable, neither - it is sufficient that I see there is some remora,
some cause of delay, some mid impediment, which I have no title to inquire into.
- Or you are still somewhat tired perhaps - I warrant I find means to entertain
your intellects without fatiguing your limbs - I am no friend to violent
exertion myself - a walk in the garden once a day is exercise enough So saying, the Antiquary opened a drawer, and began rummaging among a
quantity of miscellaneous papers, ancient and modern. But it was the misfortune
of this learned gentleman, as it may be that of many learned and unlearned, that
he frequently experienced, on such occasions, what Harlequin calls l'embarras
des richesses - in other words, the abundance of his collection often prevented
him from finding the article he sought for. "Curse the papers! - I believe,"
said Oldbuck, as he shuffled them to and from, - "I believe they make themselves
wings like grasshoppers, and fly away bodily - but here, in the meanwhile, look
at that little treasure." So saying, he put into his hand a case made of oak,
fenced at the corner with silver roses and studs - "Pr'ythee, undo this button,"
said he, as he observed Lovel fumbling at the clasp; - he did so, the lid
opened, and discovered a thin quarto curiously bound in black shagreen - "There,
Mr. Lovel - there is the work I mentioned to you last night - the rare quarto of
the Augsburg Confession, the foundation at once and the bulwark of the
Reformation, drawn up by the learned and "And that," said Lovel, after a moment's thoughtful silence, "that then is
the meaning of these German words?"
"Unquestionably - you perceive the appropriate application to a
consciousness of inward worth, and of eminence in an useful and honourable art.
- Each printer in those days, "And what is that said to have been, my good sir?" inquired his young friend.
"Why, it rather encroaches on my respected predecessor's fame for prudence
and wisdom - Sed semel insanivimus omnes - everybody has played the fool in
their turn. It is said, my ancestor, during his apprenticeship with the
descendant of old Fust, whom popular tradition hath sent to the devil, under the
name of Faustus, was attracted by a paltry slip of womankind, his master's
daughter, called Bertha - They broke rings, or went through some idiotical
ceremony, as is usual on such idle occasions as the plighting of a true- love
troth, and Aldobrand set out on his journey through Germany, as became an honest
hand-werker; for such was the custom of mechanics at that time, to make a tour
through the empire, and work at their trade for a time in each of the most
eminent towns, before they finally settled themselves for life. It was a wise
custom; for, as such travellers were received like brethren in each town by
those of their own handicraft, they were sure, in every case, to have the means
either of gaining or communicating knowledge. When my ancestor returned to
Nuremburg, he is said to have found his old master newly dead, and two or three
gallant young suitors, some of them half-starved sprigs of nobility forsooth, in
pursuit of the Yung-fraw Bertha, whose father was understood to have bequeathed
her a dowry which might weigh against sixteen armorial quarters. "By no means; pray proceed, Mr. Oldbuck; I listen with uncommon interest."
"Ah! it is all folly - however - Aldobrand arrived in the ordinary dress, as
we would say, of a journeyman printer- the same with which he had traversed
Germany, and conversed with Luther, Melancthon, Erasmus, and other learned
men, who disdained not his knowledge, and the power he possessed of diffusing
it, though hid under a garb so homely. But what appeared respectable in the eyes
of wisdom, religion, learning, and philosophy, seemed mean, as might readily
be supposed, and disgusting, in those of silly and affected womankind, and
Bertha refused to acknowledge her former lover, in the torn doublet, skin cap,
clouted shoes, and leathern apron, of a travelling handicraftsman or mechanic.
He claimed his privilege, however, of being admitted to a trial; and when the
rest of the suitors had either declined the contest, or made such work as the
devil could not read if his pardon depended on it, all eyes were bent on the
stranger. Aldobrand stepped gracefully forward, arranged the types without
omission of a single letter, hyphen, or comma, imposed them without deranging a
single space, and pulled off the first proof as clear and free from errors, as
if it had been a triple revise! All applauded the worthy successor of the
immortal Faustus - the blushing maiden acknowledged her error in trusting to the
eye more than the intellect, and the elected bridegroom thenceforward chose "I beg your pardon," said Lovel; "I am going to appear very silly and
changeable in your eyes, Mr. Oldbuck, but you seemed to think Sir Arthur might
in civility expect a call from me?'
"Psha, psha, I can make your apology; and if you must leave us so soon as you
say, what signifies how you stand in his honour's good graces? - And I warn you
that the Essay on Castrametation is something prolix, and will occupy the time
we can spare after dinner, so you may lose the Ossianic controversy if we do not
dedicate this morning to it- we will go out to my evergreen bower, my sacred
holly-tree younder, and have it fronde super viridi._
``Sing heigh-ho! heigh-ho! for the green holly, But, egad,'' continued the old gentleman, "when I look closer at you, I begin to think you may be of a
different opinion. Amen, with all my heart - I quarrel with no man's hobby, if
he does not run it a-tilt against mine, and if he does - let him beware his eyes
- What say you? - in the language of the world and worldlings base, if you can
condescend to so mean a sphere, shall we stay or go?"
"In the language of selfishness then, which is of course the language of the
world - let us go by all means."
"Amen, amen, quo' the Earl Marshall," answered Oldbuck, as he exchanged his
slippers for a pair of stout walking shoes, with cutikins, as he called them, of
black cloth. He only interrupted the walk by a slight deviation to the tomb of
John o' the Girnel, remembered as the last bailiff of the Here lyeth John o' ye Girnell; ``You see how modest the author
of this sepulchral commendation was - he tells us, that honest John could make
five firlots, or quarters, as you would say, out of the boll, instead of four, -
that he gave the fifth to the wives of the parish, and accounted for the other
four to the abbot and chapter, -that in his time the wives' hens always laid
eggs, and devil thank them, if they got one-fifty of the abbey rents; and that
honest men's hearths were never unblest with offspring, - an addition to the
miracle, which they, as well as I, must have considered as perfectly
unaccountable. But come on - leave we Jock o' the Girnel, and let us jog on to
the yellow sands, where the sea, like a repulsed enemy, is now retreating from
the ground on which he gave us battle last night."
Thus saying, he led the way to the sands. Upon the links or downs close to
them, were seen four or five huts inhabited by fishers, whose boats, drawn high
up on the beach, lent the odoriferous vapours of pitch melting under a burning
sun, to contend with those of the offals of fish and other nuisances, usually
collected round Scottish cottages. "How much for the bannock-fluke and cock-padle?" demanded the Antiquary.
"Four white shillings and saxpence," answered the Naiad.
"Four devils and six of their imps!" retorted the Antiquary; do ye think I
am mad, Maggie?"
"And div ye think," rejoined the virago, setting her arms akimbo, "that my
man and my sons are to gae to the sea in weather like yestreen and the day - sic
a sea as it's yet outby - and get naething for their fish, and be misca'd into
the bargain, Monkbarns? It's no fish ye're buying - it's men's lives."
"Well, Maggie, I'll bid you fair - I'll bid you a shilling for the fluke and
the cock-padle, or sixpence separately- and if all your fish are as well paid, I
think your man, as you call him, and your sons, will make a good voyage."
"Deil gin their boat were knockit against the Bell Rock rather! it wad be
better, and the bonnier voyage o' the twa. A shilling for thae twa bonny fish!
Od, that's ane indeed!"
"Well, well, you old beldam, carry your fish up to Monkbarns, and see what my
sister will give you for them."
"Na, na, Monkbarns, deil a fit - I'll rather deal wi' yoursell; for, though
you're near eneugh, yet Miss Grizel has an unco close grip-I'll gie ye them (in
a softened tone) for three-and-saxpence." "Half-a-crown then, Maggie, and a dram."
"Aweel, your honour maun hae't your ain gate, nae doubt; but a dram's worth
siller now - the distilleries is no working"
"And I hope they'll never work again in my time." said Oldbuck.
"Ay, ay - it's easy for your honour, and the like o' you gentlefolks, to say
sae, that hae stouth and routh, and fire and fending, and meat and claith, and
sit dry and canny by the fireside - but an ye wanted fire, and meat, and dry
claise, and were deeing o'cauld, and had a sair heart, whilk is warst ava', wi'
just tippence in your pouch, wadna ye be glad to buy a dram wi't, to be eilding
and claise, and a supper and heart's ease into the bargain, till the morn's
morning?"
"It's even too true an apology, Maggie. Is your goodman off to sea this
morning, after his exertions last night?"
"In troth is he, Monkbarns; he was awa this morning by four o'clock, when the
sea was working like barm wi' yestreen's wind, and our bit coble dancing in't
like a cork."
"Well, he's an industrious fellow. Carry the fish up to Monkbarns."
"That I will - or I'll send little Jenny, she'll rin faster; but I'll ca' on
Miss Grizy for the dram mysell, and say ye sent me."
A nondescript animal, which might have passed for a mermaid, as it was
paddling in a pool among the rocks, was Beggar?---the only freeman of your commonwealth; With our reader's permission, we will outstep
the slow, though sturdy pace of the Antiquary, whose halts, as he turned round
to his companion at every moment to point out something remarkable in the
landscape, or to enforce some favourite topic more emphatically than the
exercise of walking permitted, delayed their progress considerably.
Notwithstanding the fatigues and dangers of the preceding evening, Miss
Wardour was able to rise at her usual hour, and to apply herself to her usual
occupations, after she had first satisfied her anxiety concerning her father's
state of health. Sir Arthur was no further indisposed than by the To look back on the events of the preceding day, was, to Isabella, a very
unpleasing retrospect. She owed her life, and that of her father, to the very
person by whom, of all others, she wished least to be obliged, because she could
hardly even express common gratitude towards him without encouraging hopes which
might be injurious to them both. "Why should it be my fate to receive such
benefits, and conferred at so much personal risk, from one whose romantic
passion I have so unceasingly laboured to discourage? Why should chance have
given him this advantage over me? and why, oh why, should a half-subdued feeling
in my own bosom, in spite of my sober reason, almost rejoice that he has
attained it!"
While Miss Wardour thus taxed herself with wayward caprice, she beheld
advancing down the avenue, not her younger and more dreaded preserver, but the
old beggar who had made such a capital figure in the melodrama of the preceding
evening.
She rang the bell for her maid-servant. "Bring the old man upstairs."
The servant returned in a minute or two -"He will come up at no rate, madam -
he says his clouted shoes never were on a carpet in his life, and that, please
God, they never shall. - Must I take him into the servants' hall?"
"No; stay, I want to speak with him - Where is he?" for she had lost sight of
him as he approached the house.
"Sitting in the sun on the stone bench in the court, beside the window of the
flagged parlour."
"Bid him stay there - I'll come down to the parlour, and speak with him at
the window."
She came down accordingly, and found the mendicant After Miss Wardour had offered, in the terms she thought would be most
acceptable, those thanks which the beggar declined, as far beyond his merit, she
began to express herself in a manner which she supposed would speak more
feelingly to his apprehension. "She did not know," she said, "what her father
intended particularly to do for their preserver, but certainly it would be
something that would The old man smiled, and shook his head. "I wad be baith a grievance and a
disgrace to your fine servants, my leddy, and I have never been a disgrace to
onybody yet that I ken of."
"Sir Arthur would give strict orders-
"Ye're very kind - I doubtna, I doubtna; but there are some things a master
can command, and some he canna - I dare say he wad gar them gie me my soup
parritch and bit meat. - But trow ye that Sir Arthur's command could forbid the
gibe o' the tongue or the blink o' the ee, or gar them gie me my food wi' the
look o' kindness that a' the slights and taunts that hurt ane's spirit mair nor
downright misca'ing? - Besides, I am the idlest auld carle that ever lived; I
downa be bound down to hours o' eating and sleeping; and, to speak the honest
truth, I wad be a very bad example in ony weel-regulated family."
"Well then, Edie, what do you think of a neat cottage and a garden, and a
daily dole, and nothing to do but to dig a little in your garden when you
pleased yourself?"
"And how often wad that be, trow ye, my leddy? maybe no ance atween Candlemas
and Yule - and if a' thing were done to my hand, as if I was Sir Arthur himsell,
I could never bide the staying still in ae place, and just seeing the same
joists and couples aboon my head night after night.- And then I have a queer
humour o' my ain, that sets a strolling beggar weel eneugh, whase word naebody
minds -but ye ken Sir Arthur has odd sort o' ways - and I wad be jesting or
scorning at them - and ye wad be angry, and then I wad be just fit to hang
mysell." "Oh, you are a licensed man," said Isabella; "we shall give you all
reasonable scope: so you had better be ruled, and remember your age."
"But I am no that sair failed yet," replied the mendicant "Od, ance I gat a
wee soupled yestreen, I was as yauld as an eel. - And then what wad a' the
country about do for want o' auld Edie Ochiltree, that brings news and country
cracks frae ae farm-steading to anither, and ginger- bread to the lasses, and
helps the lads to mend their fiddles, and the gudewives to clout their pans, and
plaits rush-swords and grenadier caps for the weans, and busks the laird's
flees, and has skill o' cow-ills and horse-ills, and kens mair auld sangs and
tales than a' the barony besides, and gars ilka body laugh wherever he comes?
-troth, my leddy, I canna lay down my vocation; it would be a public loss."
"Well, Edie, if your idea of your importance is so strong as not to be shaken
by the prospect of independence-"
"Na, na, Miss - it's because I am mair independent as I am," answered the old
man; "I beg nae mair at ony single house than a meal o' meat, or maybe but a
mouthfou o't -if it's refused at ae place, I get it at anither - sae I canna be
said to depend on onybody in particular, but just on the country at large."
"Well, then, only promise me that you will let me know should you ever wish
to settle as you turn old, and more incapable of making your usual rounds; and,
in the meantime, take this."
"Na, na, my leddy; I downa take muckle siller at anes, it's against our rule
- and - though it's maybe no civil to be repeating the like o' that - they say
that siller's like to be scarce wi' Sir Arthur himsell, and that he's run
himsell out o' thought wi' his houkings and minings for lead and copper yonder."
Isabella had some anxious anticipations to the same effect, but was shocked
to hear that her father's embarrassments were such public talk; as if scandal
ever failed to stoop upon so acceptable a quarry, as the failings of the good
man, the decline of the powerful, or the decay of the prosperous. - Miss Wardour
sighed deeply - "Well, Edie, we have enough to pay our debts,let folks say what
they will, and requiting you is one of the foremost - let me press this sum upon
you."
"That I might be robbed and murdered some night between town and town? or,
what's as bad, that I might live in constant apprehension o't? - I am no
-(lowering his voice to a whisper, and looking keenly around him) - I am no that
clean unprovided for neither; and though I should die at the back of a dike,
they'll find as muckle quilted in this auld blue gown as will bury me like a
Christian, and gie the lads and lasses, a blythe lykewake too; sae there's the
gaberlunzie's burial provided for, and I need nae mair. -Were the like o' me
ever to change a note, wha the deil d'ye think wad be sic fules as to gie me
charity after that? - it wad flee through the country like wild-fire, that auld
Edie suld hae done siccan a like thing, and then, I'se warrant, I might grane my
heart out or onybody wad gie me either a bane or a bodle."
"Is there nothing, then, that I can do for you?"
"Ou ay - I'll aye come for my awmous as usual, - and whiles I wad be fair o'
a pickle sneeshin, and ye maun speak to the constable and ground-officer just to
owerlook me, and maybe ye'll gie a gude word for me to Sandie Netherstanes, the
miller, that he may chain up his muckle dog - I wadna hae him to hurt the puir
beast, for it just does its office in barking at a gaberlunzie like me. - And
there's ae thing maybe mair, but ye'll think it's very bauld o' the like o' me
to speak o't."
"What is it, Edie? - if it respects you it shall be done, if it is in my
power." "It respects yoursell, and it is in your power, and I maun come out wi't. -
Ye are a bonny young leddy, and a gude ane, and maybe a weel-tochered ane - but
dinna ye sneer awa the lad Lovel, as ye did a while sinsyne on the walk beneath
the Brierybank, when I saw ye baith, and heard ye too, though ye saw nae me. Be
canny wi' the lad, for he loes ye weel, and it's to him, and no to onything I
could have done for you, that Sir Arthur and you wan ower yestreen."
He uttered these words in a low but distinct tone of voice; and, without
waiting for an answer, walked towards a low door which led to the apartments of
the servants, and so entered the house.
Miss Wardour remained for a moment or two in the situation in which she had
heard the old man's last extraordinary speech, leaning, namely, against the bars
of the window, nor could she determine upon saying even a single word, relative
to a subject so delicate, until the beggar was out of sight. It was, indeed,
difficult to determine what to do. That her having had an interview and private
conversation with this young and unknown stranger, should be a secret possessed
by a person of the last class in which a young lady would seek a confident, and
at the mercy of one who was by profession gossip-general to the whole
neighbourhood, gave her acute agony. She had no reason, indeed, to suppose that
the old man would wilfully do anything to hurt her feelings, much less to injure
her; but the mere freedom of speaking to her upon such a subject, showed, as
might have been expected, a total absence of delicacy; and what he might take it
into his head to do or say next, that she was pretty sure so professed an
admirer of liberty would not hesitate to do or say without scruple. This idea so
much hurt and vexed her, that she half-wished the officious assistance of
Lovel and Ochiltree had been absent upon the preceding evening.
While she was in this agitation of spirits, she suddenly observed Oldbuck and
Lovel entering the court. She drew instantly so far back from the window, that
she could, without being seen, observe how the Antiquary paused in front of the
building, and, pointing to the various scutcheons of its former owners, seemed
in the act of bestowing upon Lovel much curious and erudite information, which,
from the absent look of his auditor, Isabella might shrewdly guess was entirely
thrown away. The necessity that she should take some resolution became instant
and pressing - she rang, therefore, for a servant, and ordered him to show the
visitors to the drawing-room, while she, by another staircase, gained her own
apartment, to consider, ere she made her appearance, what line of conduct were
fittest for her to pursue. The guests, agreeably to her instructions, were
introduced into the room where company was usually received.
------The time was that I hated thee, Miss Isabella Wardour's complexion was
considerably heightened, when, after the delay necessary to arrange her ideas,
she presented herself in the drawing-room.
"I am glad you are come, my fair foe," said the Antiquary, greeting her with
much kindness, "for I have had a most refractory, or at least negligent,
auditor, in my young friend here, which I endeavoured to make him acquainted
with the history of Knockwinnock Castle. I think the danger of last "Indifferently well, Mr. Oldbuck; but, I am afraid, not quite able to receive
your congratulations, or to pay - to pay - Mr. Lovel his thanks for his
unparalleled exertions."
"I dare say not - A good down pillow for his good white head were more meet
than a couch so churlish as Bessy's Apron, plague on her!"
"I had no thought of intruding," said Lovel, looking upon the ground, and
speaking with hesitation and suppressed emotion; "I did not - did not mean to
intrude upon Sir Arthur or Miss Wardour the presence of one who - who must
necessarily be unwelcome - as associated, I mean, with painful reflections."
"Do not think my father so unjust and ungrateful," said Miss Wardour. "I
dare say," she continued, participating in Lovel's embarrassment - "I dare say -I
am certain - that my father would be happy to show his gratitude - in any way -
that is, which Mr. Lovel could consider it as proper to point out."
"Why, the deuce," interrupted Oldbuck, "what sort of a qualification is that?
-On my word, it reminds me of our minister, who, choosing, like a formal old fop
as he is, to drink to my sister's inclinations, thought it necessary to add the
clause, Provided, madam, they be virtuous. Come, let us have no more of this
nonsense -I dare say Sir Arthur will bid us welcome on some future day. -And what
news from the kingdom of subterranean darkness and airy hope? - what says the
swart spirit of the mine? -Has Sir Arthur had any good intelligence of his
adventure lately in Glen Withershins?" "Ah! my poor dear hundred pounds, which Sir Arthur persuaded me to give for a
share in that hopeful scheme, would have bought a porter's load of mineralogy -
But let me see them."
And so saying, he sat down at the table in the recess, on which the mineral
productions were lying, and proceeded to examine them, grumbling and pshawing at
each which he took up and laid aside.
In the meantime, Lovel, forced as it were by this secession of Oldbuck, into
a sort of tete-a-tete with Miss Wardour, took an opportunity of addressing her
in a low and interrupted tone of voice. "I trust Miss Wardour will impute, to
circumstances almost irresistible, this intrusion of a person who has reason to
think himself - so unacceptable a visitor."
"Mr. Lovel," answered Miss Wardour, observing the same tone of caution, "I
trust you will not - I am sure you are incapable of abusing the advantages given
to you by the services you have rendered us, which, as they affect my father,
can never be sufficiently acknowledged or repaid - Could Mr. Lovel see me
without his own peace being affected- could he see me as a friend - as a sister
- no man will be- and, from all I have heard of Mr. Lovel, ought to be, more
welcome; but-"
Oldbuck's anathema against the preposition but was internally echoed by
Lovel -"Forgive me if I interrupt you, Miss Wardour - you need not fear my
intruding upon a subject where I have been already severely repressed - but do
not add to the severity of repelling my sentiments the rigour of obliging me to
disavow them"
"I am much embarrassed, Mr. Lovel," replied the young lady, "by your - I would
not willingly use a strong word- "It is enough, Miss Wardour; I see plainly that -"
"Mr. Lovel, you are hurt - and, believe me, I sympathise in the pain which I
inflict - but can I, in justice to myself, in fairness to you, do otherwise? -
Without my father's consent, I never will entertain the addresses of any one,
and how totally impossible it is that he should countenance the partiality with
which you honour me, you are yourself fully aware - and, indeed -"
"No, Miss Wardour," answered Lovel, in a tone of passionate entreaty; "do not
go farther - is it not enough to crush every hope in our present relative
situation? - do not carry your resolutions farther - why urge what would be your
conduct if Sir Arthur's objections could be removed?"
"It is indeed vain, Mr. Lovel," said Miss Wardour, "because their removal is
impossible; and I only wish, as your friend, and as one who is obliged to you
for her own and her father's life, to entreat you to suppress this unfortunate
attachment - to leave a country which affords no scope for your talents, and to
resume the honourable line of the profession which you seem to have abandoned."
"Well, Miss Wardour, your wishes shall be obeyed - have patience with me one
little month, and if, in the course of that space, I cannot show you such
reasons for continuing my residence at Fairport, as even you shall approve of, I
will bid adieu to its vicinity, and, with the same breath, to all my hopes of
happiness."
"Not so, Mr. Lovel; many years of deserved happiness, A servant at this moment announced, that Sir Arthur desired to speak with Mr.
Oldbuck in his dressing room.
"Let me show you the way," said Miss Wardour who apparently dreaded a
continuation of her tete-a-tete with Lovel, and she conducted the Antiquary
accordingly to her father's apartment.
Sir Arthur, his legs swathed in flannel, was stretched on the couch.
"Welcome, Mr. Oldbuck," he said; "I trust you have come better off than I have
done from the inclemency of yesterday evening?"
"Truly, Sir Arthur, I was not so much exposed to it - I kept terra firma -
you fairly committed yourself to the cold night-air in the most literal of all
senses. But such adventures become a gallant knight better than a humble
esquire - to rise on the wings of the night-wind - to dive into the bowels of
the earth. - What news from our subterranean Good Hope? the terra incognita of
Glen Withershins?"
"nothing good as yet," said the Baronet, turning himself hastily, as if stung
by a pang of the gout; "but Dousterswivel does not despair."
"Does he not?" quoth Oldbuck; "I do though, under his favour - Why, old Dr.
H----n told me, when I was in Edinburgh, that we should never find copper
enough, "The learned doctor is not infallible, I presume?"
"No; but he is one of our first chemists; and this tramping philosopher of
yours - this Dousterswivel, is, I have a notion, one of those learned
adventurers, described by Kirchner, Artem havent sine arte, partem sine parte,
quorum medium est mentiri, vita eorum mendicatum ire; that is to say say, Miss
Wardour -"
"It is unnecessary to translate," said Miss Wardour; "I comprehend your
general meaning - but I hope Mr. Dousterswivel will turn out a more trustworthy
character."
"I doubt if not a little," said the Antiquary, " and we are a foul way out if
we cannot discover this infernal vein that he has prophesied about these two
years."
"You have no great interest in the matter, Mr. Oldbuck," said the Baronet.
"Too much, too much, Sir Arthur - and yet, for the sake of my fair foe here,
I would consent to lose it all so you had no more on the venture."
There was a painful silence of a few moments, for Sir Arthur was too proud to
acknowledge the downfall of his golden dreams, though he could no longer
disguise to him self that such was likely to be the termination of the adventure
"I understand," he at length said, "that the young gentleman, to whose
gallantry and presence of mind we were so much indebted last night, has favoured
me with a visit - I am distressed that I am unable to see him, or indeed any one
but an old friend like you, Mr. Oldbuck."
A declination of the Antiquary's stiff backbone acknowledged the preference.
"You made acquaintance with this young gentleman in Edinburgh, I suppose?"
Oldbuck told the circumstances of their becoming known to each other.
"Why, then, my daughter is an older acquaintance of Mr. Lovel than you are,"
said the Baronet.
"Indeed! I was not aware of that," answered Oldbuck, somewhat surprised.
"I met Mr. Lovel," said Isabella, slightly colouring, "when I resided this
last spring with my aunt, Mrs. Wilmot."
"In Yorkshire? - and what character did he bear then, or how was he engaged?"
Isabella answered the least difficult question, and passed over the other.
"He had a commission in the army, and had, I believe, served with reputation; he
was much respected, as an amiable and promising young man."
"And pray, such being the case," replied the Antiquary, not disposed to take
one reply in answer to two distinct questions, "why did you not speak to the lad
at once when you met him at my house? - I thought you had less of the paltry
pride of womankind about you, Miss Wardour."
"There was a reason for it," said Sir Arthur, with dignity; "you know the
opinions - prejudices, perhaps, you will call them - of our house concerning the
purity of birth; this young gentleman is, it seems, the illegitimate son of a
man of fortune; my daughter did not choose to renew their acquaintance till
she should know whether I approved of her holding any intercourse with him."
"If it had been with his mother instead of himself," answered Oldbuck, with
his usual dry causticity of humour, "I could see an excellent reason for it. Ah,
poor lad! that was the cause then that he seemed so absent and confused while I
explained to him the reason of the bend of bastardy upon the shield yonder under
the corner turret!"
"True," said the Baronet with complacency, "it is the "I know the story," said Oldbuck, " and I was telling it to Lovel this
moment, with some of the wise maxims and consequences which it has engrafted on
your family politics. Poor fellow! he must have been much hurt; I took the
wavering of his attention for negligence, and was something piqued at it, and it
proves to be only an excess of feeling. I hope, Sir Arthur, you will not think
the less of your life, because it has been preserved by such assistance?"
"Nor the less of my assistant either," said the Baronet; "my doors and table
shall be equally open to him as if he had descended of the most unblemished
lineage.'
"Come, I am glad of that - he'll know where he can get a dinner, then, if he
wants one. But what views can he have in this neighbourhood?-I must catechise
him; and if I find he wants it - or, indeed, whether he does or not - he shall
have my best advice." As the Antiquary made this liberal promise, he took his
leave of Miss Wardour and her father, eager to commence operations upon Mr.
Lovel. He informed him abruptly that Miss Wardour sent her compliments, and
remained in attendance on her father, and then taking him by the arm, he led him
out of the castle.
Knockwinnock still preserved much of the external attributes of a baronial
castle. It had its drawbridge, though "Indeed!" answered Lovel - "You surprise me greatly!"
"We harden ourselves in vain," continued the Antiquary, pursuing his own
train of thought and feeling -"We harden ourselves in vain to treat with the
indifference they deserve the changes of this trumpery whirligig world -We
strive ineffectually to be the self-sufficing invulnerable being, the "And Heaven forbid that it should be otherwise!" said Lovel warmly - "Heaven
forbid that any process of philosophy were capable so to sear and indurate our
feelings, that nothing should agitate them but what arose instantly and
immediately out of our own selfish interests! I would as soon wish my hand to be
as callous as horn, that it might escape an occasional cut or scratch, as I
would be ambitious of the stoicism which should render my heart like a piece of
the nether mill-stone."
The Antiquary regarded his youthful companion with a look half of pity, half
of sympathy, and shrugged up his shoulders as he replied, "Wait, young man, -
wait till your bark has been battered by the storm of sixty years of mortal
vicissitude - you will learn by that time to reef your sails, that she may obey
the helm - or, in the language of this world, you will find distresses enough,
endured and to endure, to keep your feelings and sympathies in full exercise,
without concerning yourself more in the fate of others than you cannot possibly
avoid."
"Well, Mr. Oldbuck, it may be so; but as yet I resemble you more in your
practice than in your theory, for I cannot help being deeply interested in the
fate of the family we have just left."
"And well you may," replied Oldbuck; "Sir Arthur's embarrassments have of
late become so many and so pressing, that I am surprised you have not heard of
them - And then his absurd and expensive operations carried on by this
High-German landlouper, Dousterswivel -"
"I think I have seen that person, when, by some rare chance, I happened to be
in the coffee-room at Fairport- "Oh, the same - the same - he has enough of practical knowledge to speak
scholarly and wisely to those of whose intelligence he stands in awe; and, to
say the truth, this faculty, joined to his matchless impudence, imposed upon me
for some time when I first knew him. But I have since understood, that when he
is among fools and womankind, he exhibits himself as a perfect charlatan -talks
of the magisterium - of sympathies and antipathies - of the cabala - of the divining rod - and all the trumpery with which the Rosicrucians
cheated a darker age, and which, to our eternal disgrace, has in some degree
revived in our own. My friend Heavysterne knew this fellow abroad, and unintentionally (for he, you must know, is, God bless the mark, a sort of
believer) let me into a good deal of his real character. Ah! were I caliph for a
day, as honest Abon Hassan wished to be, I would scourge me these jugglers out
of the commonwealth with rods of scorpions - They debauch the spirit of the
ignorant and credulous with mystical trash as effectually as if they had
besotted their brains with gin, and then pick their pockets with the same
facility. And now has this strolling blackguard and mountebank put the finishing blow to the ruin of an ancient and honourable family!"
"But how could he impose upon Sir Arthur to any ruinous extent?"
"Why, I don't know - Sir Arthur is a good honourable gentleman - but, as you
may see from his loose ideas concerning the Pikish language, he is by no means
very strong "I am surprised that you, Mr. Oldbuck, should have encouraged Sir Arthur by
your example."
"Why," said Oldbuck, dropping his large grizzled eyebrow, "I am something
surprised and ashamed at it myself; it was not the lucre of gain - nobody cares
less for money (to be a prudent man) than I do - but I thought I might risk this
small sum. It will be expected (though I am sure I cannot see why) that I should
give something to any one who will be kind enough to rid me of that slip of
womankind, my niece, Mary M'Intyre; and perhaps it may be thought I should do
something to get that jackanapes, her brother, on in the army. In either case,
to treble my venture would have helped me out. And, besides, I had some idea
that the Phoenicians had in former times wrought copper in that very spot. That
cunning scoundrel, Dousterswivel, found out my blunt side, and brought strange
tales (d--n him) of appearances of old shafts, and vestiges of mining
operations, conducted in a manner quite different from those of modern times;
and I - in short, I was a fool, and there is an end. My loss is not much worth
speaking about; but Sir Arthur's engagements are, I understand, very deep, and
my heart aches for him, and the poor young lady who must share his distress."
Here the conversation paused, until renewed in the next chapter.
If I may trust the flattering eye of sleep, The account of Sir Arthur's unhappy adventure had led
Oldbuck somewhat aside from his purpose of catechising Lovel concerning the
cause of his residence at Fairport. He was now, however, resolved to open the
subject. "Miss Wardour was formerly known to you, she tells me, Mr. Lovel?"
"He had had the pleasure," Lovel answered, "to see her at Mrs. Wilmot's, in
Yorkshire."
"Indeed! you never mentioned that to me before, and you did not accost her as
an old acquaintance."
"I - I did not know," said Lovel, a good deal embarrassed, "it was the same
lady, till we met; and then it was my duty to wait till she should recognise
me."
"I am aware of your delicacy; the knight's a punctilious old fool, but I
promise you his daughter is above all nonsensical ceremony and prejudice. And
now, since you have found a new set of friends here, may I ask if you intend to
leave Fairport as soon as you proposed?"
"What if I should answer your question by another," replied Lovel, "and ask
you what is your opinion of dreams?"
"Of dreams, you foolish lad! - why, what should I think of them but as the
deceptions of imagination when reason drops the reins? - I know no difference
betwixt them and the hallucinations of madness - the unguided horses run "Yes, sir, but Cicero also tells us, that as he who passes the whole day in
darting the javelin must sometimes hit the mark, so, amid the cloud of nightly
dreams, some may occur consonant to the future events."
"Ay - that is to say, you have hit the mark in your own sage opinion? Lord!
Lord! how this world is given to folly! Well, I will allow for once the
Oneirocritical science - I will give faith to the exposition of dreams, and say a Daniel hath arisen
to interpret them, if you can prove to me that that dream of yours has pointed
to a prudent line of conduct."
"Tell me then," answered Lovel, "why, when I was hesitating whether to
abandon an enterprise, which I have perhaps rashly undertaken, I should last
night dream I saw your ancestor pointing to a motto which encouraged me to
perseverance? Why should I have thought of those words which I cannot remember
to have heard before, which are in a language unknown to me, and which yet
conveyed, when translated, a lesson which I could so plainly apply to my own
circumstances?"
The Antiquary burst into a fit of laughing. "Excuse me, my young friend, but
it is thus we silly mortals deceive ourselves, and look out of doors for motives
which originate in our own wilful will. I think I can help out the cause of your
vision. You were so abstracted in your contemplations yesterday after dinner, as
to pay little attention to the discourse between Sir Arthur and me, until we
fell upon the controversy concerning the Piks, which terminated so abruptly; but
I remember producing to Sir Arthur a book "I own it," said Lovel, blushing deeply - "I believe you are right, Mr.
Oldbuck, and I ought to sink in your esteem for attaching a moment's consequence
to such a frivolity; but I was tossed by contradictory wishes and resolutions,
and you know how slight a line will tow a boat when afloat on the billows,
though a cable would hardly move her when pulled up on the beach."
"Right, right," exclaimed the Antiquary; "fall in my opinion? - not a whit -
I love thee the better, man - why, we have story for story against each other,
and I can think with less shame on having exposed myself about the cursed
Praetorium - though I am still convinced Agricola's camp must have been
somewhere in this neighbourhood. And now, Lovel, my good lad, be sincere with me
- What make you from Wittenberg? - Why have you left your own country and
professional pursuits, for an idle residence in such a place as Fairport? - A
truant disposition, I fear."
"Even so," replied Lovel, patiently submitting to an interrogatory which he
could not well evade; - "yet I am so detached from all the world, have so few in
whom I am interested, or who are interested in me, that my very state of
destitution gives me independence. He, whose good or evil fortune affects
himself alone, has the best right to pursue it according to his own fancy." Chapter Second
Sir, they do scandal me upon the road here!
A poor quotidian rack of mutton
roasted
Dry to be grated! and that driven down
With beer and butter-milk,
mingled together.
It is against my freehold, my inheritance.
'Wine' is the word
that glads the heart of man,
And mine's the house of wine. 'Sack', says my bush,
'Be
merry and drink Sherry', that's my posie.
Ben Johnson's New Inn
Chapter Third
Rusty airn caps, and jinglin-jackets,
Would held the Loudons three in tackets
A towmond gude;
And parritch-pats, and
auld saut-backets,
Afore the flude.
BURNS
Chapter Fourth
Wi' mony good-e'ens and good-morrows
to me,
Saying, Kind sir, for your courtesy,
Will ye lodge a silly poor man?
'The
Gaberlunzie Man'
See that huge battle moving from the mountains,
Their gilt coats shine like dragon scales; - their march
Like a rough tumbling storm - See them, and view them,
And then see Rome no more!--- Chapter Fifth
Merchant of
Venice. Chapter Sixth
From whence comes Wensday; that is
Wodnesday,
Truth is a thing that I will ever keep
Unto thylke day in which I
creep into
My sepulcre------ Cartwright's 'Ordinary'
Chapter Seventh
The watery waste, the prospect wild and new;
The now
receding waters gave them space,
On either side, the growing shores to trace;
And then, returning, they contract the scene,
Till small and smaller grows the
walk between.
CRABBE
Chapter Eighth
Looks fearfully on the confined
deep;
Bring me but to the very brim of it,
And I'll repair the misery thou dost
bear.
King LearChapter Ninth
"Be Brave," she cried, " you yet may be our guest,
Our haunted room was
ever held the best.
If, then, your valour can the sight sustain
Of rustling
curtains and the clinking chain;
If your courageous tongue have powers to talk,
When round your bed the horrid
ghost shall walk;
If you dare ask it why it leaves its tomb,
I'll see your
sheets well air'd, and show the room."
'True Story'
And then they eated the black, O,
And thought the gudeman unto himsell,
The deil clink down wi' that, O!"
Chapter Tenth
Her pall of transient death has spread,
When mortals sleep, when spectres rise,
And none are wakeful but the dead;
No bloodless shape my way pursues,
No sheeted ghost my couch annoys,
Visions more sad my fancy views, -
Visions of long-departed joys',
W.R. SPENCER
My heart is idly stirr'd
For the same sound is in my ears
Which in those days I heard.
And yet the wiser mind
Mourns less for what time takes away,
Than what he leaves behind.
Under the which the grass, so fresh of line,
Be'th newly sprung - at eight foot or nine.
Everich tree well from his fellow grew,
With branches broad laden with leaves new,
That sprongen out against the sonne sheene
Some golden red, and some a glad bright green.
Was both before me and behind.
Of fawns, sownders, bucks, and does
Was full the wood, and many roes,
And many squirrells that ysate
High on the trees and nuts ate.
Thou aged carle so stern and grey?
Dost thou its former pride recall,
Or ponder how it passed away?
``So long enjoyed, so oft misused---
Alternate, in thy fickle pride,
Desired, neglected, and accused?
Man and his marvels pass away;
And changing empires wane and wax,
Are founded, flourish and decay.
While in my glass the sand-grains shiver,
And measureless thy joy or grief,
When Time and thou shalt part for ever!''
Chapter Eleventh
And ordered all the pageants as they went;
Sometimes that only 'twas wild Fancy's play,---
The loose and scattered relics of the day.
The good precedent---fie upon _but yet!_
_But yet_ is as a jailor to bring forth
Some monstrous malefactor.''
The ball's fair partner to behold,
And humbly hope she caught no cold.''
Most friendship is feigning, most loving mere folly.
Erth has ye nit, and heuen ye kirnell.
In hys tyme ilk wyfe's hennis clokit,
Ilka gud mannis herth wi' bairnis was stokit.
He deled a boll o' bear in firlottis fyve,
Four for ye halie kirke, and ane for puir mennis wyvis.
Chapter Twelfth
Free above Scot-free, that observe no laws,
Obey no governor, use no religion
But what they draw from their own ancient custom,
Or constitute themselves, yet they are no rebels.
BrROME Chapter Thirteenth
And yet it is not that I bear thee love.
Thy company, which erst was irksome to me,
I will endure ------
But do not look for further recompense.
As You Like It.
Chapter Fourteenth
My dreams presage some joyful news at hand:
My bosom's lord sits lightly on his throne,
And all this day, an unaccustomed spirit
Lifts me above the ground with cheerful thoughts.
Romeo and Juliet